


Shift 2

by reilgun



Series: Fade [2]
Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: Child Abuse, Eating Disorders, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Original Character(s), Trans Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 34,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21725671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reilgun/pseuds/reilgun
Summary: Welcome to the first cast list! If you're reading this, hopefully it means you've already read all of the first arc of Fade, Cage! If you have not read that yet, this will contain spoilers for the story!At the start of every arc, I will put an updated cast list with the new and relevant information! This means that everything here is stuff you should either already know about Fade, or is unimportant enough that I decided to throw it at you for free.IMPORTANT: There will be jokes! Some of them may even make you smile, or laugh in extreme cases! If you are at risk of breaking the edgy demeanor you struggle to keep up around your friends, or do not have lungs, please be very careful when proceeding!
Series: Fade [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1514456
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Shift 2.0 - Cast List

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the first cast list! If you're reading this, hopefully it means you've already read all of the first arc of Fade, Cage! If you have not read that yet, this will contain spoilers for the story!
> 
> At the start of every arc, I will put an updated cast list with the new and relevant information! This means that everything here is stuff you should either already know about Fade, or is unimportant enough that I decided to throw it at you for free.
> 
> IMPORTANT: There will be jokes! Some of them may even make you smile, or laugh in extreme cases! If you are at risk of breaking the edgy demeanor you struggle to keep up around your friends, or do not have lungs, please be very careful when proceeding!

**Ashley:** She’s a plot device to help recruit Riley and get her used to stuff, but she’s a very  _ nice _ plot device. She shows up more, but sadly not too much more. #AshleyForMainCharacter

**Beth:** Quiet bully. Yep, that’s it.

**Boon:** Tinker, leader of the Wards. He has a focus on healing technology which makes him harder better faster stronger. Trying his best.

**David Walker:** The one character in the entire story who breaks your suspension of disbelief. What kind of school has a counselor that does anywhere  _ near _ this much to help? I haven’t actually said his last name in the story yet, I just like it and want to share it.

**Jaunt:** Member of the Wards. Spends a minute as a big monster.

**Magister:** Red Iron cape who can temporarily create ‘black holes.’ Apparently a dumbass.

**Marionettist:** Member of the Wards. Subject to at least one uncomfortable masturbation joke.

**Marissa:** Stupid bully. I hope you weren’t expecting anything more than this.

**Mixup Marshals:** Technically an organization of villains.

**Mortar:** Gamer girl Wards member. She’s really hype about the whole cape thing, but only because she’s so young. She’s a human cannonball who can stick to walls, and she takes less damage the faster she’s moving. Will 1v1 you.

**Mr. Green:** Riley’s dad. He’s a doctor, whoa!

**Mr. Kelly:** Quinn’s dad. The worst.

**Mr. Larson:** Social Studies teacher. A little bitch.

**Mrs. Foster:** Cape Studies teacher. Has an annoying voice.

**Mrs. Green:** Riley’s mom. She works too. I’ll be real, I don’t know her job.

**Ms. Holly:** Language Arts teacher.

**Ms. Kelly:** Quinn’s mom. Does all of the drugs pensive emoji.

**Partition:** Member of the Wards.

**Quinn Kelly:** The only main character who doesn’t have powers. This girl’s got issues.

**Radar:** Blind Protectorate member who wears a green suit and relies on his power to see. He also has a lie detector and can fly. Kind of a dick.

**Red Iron:** A ruthless organization of villains who have somehow managed to fly under the Radar despite their egregious acts of heinousness. How’d they do that? They didn’t, it was just a joke.  _ Something’s _ up, though. Keep reading to find out what that is, I guess.

**Riley Green/Shift:** The Wards needed a token trans girl, and one just fell into their lap.

**Rue:** Oh no, is she the trope of bisexual characters being predatory? Nope! Not even kinda, I promise. She’s a Wards member who hurts people by hurting herself, and she’s got a zipper mouth on her costume. Just you fucking wait, her costume is a whole fucking thing.

**Sandra:** The only bully sort of worth her shit. Has a grease stain on one of her favorite skirts.

**Specter Shy:** Member of the wards. Soft spoken.

**Trojan:** Protectorate member, a Breaker of some form.

**Vincent Bugayong/Quaver:** Quinn’s newest friend, and a member of the Wards. His ability to warp space is linked to his voice, and ignores the Manton effect. Rifts created fade over time. Has less control the louder he goes.


	2. Shift 2.1 R

_ Dodge, dodge, shift, move over and draw back, and- _ I slammed my fist into the punching bag as hard as I could, aiming to make the most of what the training gloves I’d been given had to offer. No movement.  _ Damn it.  _ I’d been trying for an hour to perfect the timing of a punch with no warning. If Partition could respond to it before I made the impact, I’d powered down too soon. Too late, and the bag didn’t budge at all.

“You keep going in at full force,” he said. “Stop it. Your max strength is variable, so you can’t reliably predict how fast your fist will be traveling. Try dropping your force by a quarter or so and you should see your results steady out.”

“Right, okay. Thank you, again, for this.”  _ Chatting is probably a good enough excuse to take a quick break and recharge. _ A significant portion of the energy drain from my training was negated by my power, but it wasn’t all gone.

“It’s no problem at all. You probably won’t be throwing hands with too many people, but it’s good to know how to work without a weapon. There’s far too many ways enemies can disarm you. Anyone without some kind of backup is a liability.”

“Makes sense.”  _ What’s yours, then? I thought you just use your fists? _

“They’ll likely be putting you on containment foam duty. You should be able to hose down villains even better than Shy can. If you coat someone in the stuff while your power is active, that could be an instant game over for them.”

“They already tested me for that, and the best I can do is cover them as soon as I exit. Things don’t like to change much when under the influence of my power, and I guess that means the sprayers jam.”

“That’s a shame. Still, though, your abilities mixed with the right tech should be a huge help. I’m glad to have you on the team, either way. We can always use more Movers.”

“Heh, yeah, I’ve been hearing a lot of that lately.” I tried my best to hide my smile behind my mask, but could feel the fabric contort slightly.  _ Stay calm, don’t be weird. _ “Sorry, I’m just not used to people being this nice to me.”

“No worries, we’ve all been there. Everyone on the team, at least. I think the only one who could  _ maybe _ say otherwise is Jaunt. I don’t know much about his life at school, but he’s always seemed like the kind of guy that people either like to have around, or don’t care enough about to put down.”

“That sucks.”  _ I wish that were me. _ “Or, uh, not the bit with Jaunt. I mean all the.. the other stuff. You all seem really nice, you shouldn’t have to deal with this kinda shit.”

“You don’t deserve it either. You’re a kind girl, Shift.” I tried again to hide a smile, thankful that the mask at least covered up my blushing.  _ I’m not used to people calling me a girl. I know some day there’ll come a time where it doesn’t feel as monumental, and I’ll probably look back on this and think about how stupid this all was, but.. _

“We should get back to training. I wanna get this down before five.”

“Alright. Quarter less power, remember.”

“Got it.”

* * *

“We both share a tough burden, you know.” Jaunt was eating something with chips that I didn’t recognize, but I didn’t feel comfortable asking what it was at this point. His casual demeanor contrasted kind of awkwardly with how intense his topics of conversation were. “Our powers, I mean. We’re both held back by a law of nature far beyond anyone’s control. Even you, the one who can stop it temporarily. There’s always a pull to your push, you know?  _ Time _ always catches up to you.”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” I took a drink of water, expecting him to continue. He didn’t.  _ What,  _ now _ you want my thoughts? _ “Yeah, I mean, I guess I hadn’t really thought of it that way.”

“Ugh, I envy you. Ignorance is bliss in this case.”

“I hope you’re not being edgy again.” Jaunt jumped slightly, and I nearly fell out of my chair.  _ Don’t sit back like that, dumbass. _ I looked over to the empty chair as it moved. Specter Shy popped into existence and sat down. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I hear it gets a little better with time.”

“It’s okay, I’m the same way. My friend nearly died from shock when I first showed off to her, but now she doesn’t react at all most of the time.”

“Oh, that’s nice. You two must be close. The only ones here who can stay stone faced about it are Rue and Partition, and I think the latter is just because of his power.”

_ “Anyways,” _ Jaunt interrupted, and Shy disappeared as I turned my attention to him. “I wasn’t being  _ edgy, _ I was being  _ realistic. _ It’s normal to talk about the similarities between your power and someone else’s as small talk. You two did it just now.” He gestured between the two of us. “Our similarity just happens to be a bit more unfortunate than occasionally startling people.”

“I don’t know, it sounded kinda edgy to me,” I said. I looked over to see Shy holding back a giggle, then back to find that Jaunt looked a bit disappointed. “But, I mean, uh.. there’s nothing wrong with that, you know? I get that a lot from my friend, so even though it’s not really my cup of tea, it’s kinda comforting at this point.”

“Well..” He sounded abrasive but uncertain, like he was looking for a reason to still be upset. “That is.. good.” He shifted to an apprehensive satisfaction. “Good. It’s good to have a new member who isn’t against having a serious conversation every now and again.”

“Everyone’s willing to be serious, we just don’t like to mope around at one another all the time.” Shy put an invisible hand on my arm. “He’s not  _ always _ like this, don’t worry.” She moved back to start eating her food, but I could still feel where she’d been touching me. The temperature difference was slight, but it made me feel nice. Soft. I didn’t know how to respond to the feeling, so I just sat there holding a couple fingers from my own hand and processed it.

“She’s right, most of the time I’m Mr. Nice Guy. Nothing suits the general crowd better than pretending you have no deeper thoughts.” He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Give a man a secret identity and he’ll vent his frustrations. It’s basic psychology.”

“There there, Jaunty, we still love you.” I saw him give her a look in my peripheral vision, but couldn’t tell what it was meant to express.  _ Am I that soft with this costume on? Do other people feel..  _ this _ when I touch them? I think there’s a different material in her gloves, but that might not matter? I really need to learn how clothes work.  _ “So, Shift, are you going home after this?”

“Huh?” I blinked and shook my head a little, snapping out of the small trance I’d put myself in. “Um, no. Why?”

“Oh, I just noticed you’re not eating anything and thought maybe you were holding out for a nice, homemade dinner.”

“Ah, no, I guess I’m just not that hungry right now. Marionettist offered to help me finish up my costume, so I’m going to be helping him help me, I guess. I’m not sure what he wants me to do, but I’m not going to turn down an opportunity to get to know my new teammates.”

“That should be nice, he’s a good guy. He helped me with my design, too.”

“Oh shit, so he really knows his stuff, huh?” I gave her another look over, a little uncomfortable with the fact that I couldn’t do so casually.  _ She’s probably used to it, right? After a while you must be able to get over people staring at you. I hope. _ The ghost-like whites of her outfit contrasted with her dark skin in a striking way, but they felt natural. “Like, yours looks really good and pretty, I mean.” She smiled at me.

“Thanks. It was mostly him, but I had the idea for the general concept. I like to wear a lot of light colors. Not that most people would know, but that’s okay.” She looked kinda sad, but cheered herself up after a second or two. “I can’t wait for you to see Marion in casual wear, he’s really cute.”

“Soon she’ll be able to know all of our clothing preferences, assuming she’s even still here by the end of the week.” Jaunt hadn’t spoken in a little bit, and I’d nearly forgotten he was here.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shy asked.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about. If you’d talk about something with more  _ depth _ than dresses, you might know that she hasn’t told her parents about her powers yet. Why do you think she hasn’t gone on any patrols, yet?”

“I, uh,” I stammered, “I’m.. going to tell them tonight. I have to, or they said they’d do it for me. It’s this whole exhausting thing, I don’t really..”

“Hey.” Shy put her hand on my arm, cutting me off. “It’s okay. We don’t need to talk about it.” She turned to Jaunt and glared in a way that suggested it was at least somewhat a joke.  _ “Most _ people don’t want to spend all of their time stressing out about their issues. Especially not something as big as this.”

“No, um, it’s okay.” I pulled myself away and got up from my chair. “I should be going anyways. See you two tomorrow, thanks for the chat. And, uh, sorry.” I transitioned-  _ damn it, Quinn, now you’ve got me doing it  _ -in and headed off to the puppetmaster’s lair.

* * *

“You can imagine how disappointed I was when I found out ‘Armsmaster’ was already taken.” Marionettist, who I’d learned just a moment ago did  _ not _ enjoy being called Marion, was stitching together the last few pieces of the outfit I’d be wearing for the next couple years. “Oh well, though, it’s for the better. You’ve got to have a name that’s at least a little mysterious, or else what’s the point?”

“I guess, yeah.” I wasn’t paying much attention, instead focused on trying to ignore the discomfort I felt just being in the presence of a Master.  _ It’s not like his power is even that bad.. but still. Creepy. _

“Hey, you feeling alright? We’re almost done here, then you can try it on or take it home or whatever you’d like.” He paused his stitching and looked over at me, seemingly waiting for a response. When none came, he got back to work. “So, I mean, if there’s something on your mind, you won’t have to bother with me yabbering at you anymore in just a few moments.”

“Um, yeah. Sorry, I’m just.. yeah. I don’t know.”  _ Being a complete asshole to this poor guy. _

“I’m your first person Master, huh?” I closed my eyes in embarrassment and nodded. “Yeah, Shy was the same way when she first joined. Some people take it better than others, I guess. If I can do anything to help, I’m all ears.” Every experience I’d had with him made him seem like a genuinely wonderful person, but that didn’t stop my anxieties.

“No, it’s.. it’s stupid. I just keep thinking about this thing my friend said about you. It was really dumb, but it’s kinda got me more freaked than I would normally be.”

“Doesn’t sound dumb if it’s messing you up. Care to share?” He bit through a thread with his teeth, both of his hands preoccupied. “No pressure.”

“Ah, it was just a joke about like.. it was gross, inappropriate. Just like joking about the worst you could do to someone who isn’t fighting you. You..” I cringed a bit. “You can probably imagine.” 

“Yeah, uh” - he cleared his throat - “yeah. Gotcha..”  _ All this did was make him just as uncomfortable as you are, asshole. _

“She’s not normally like that. I don’t want you getting the wrong impression, she’s.. she regretted it too, it’s like-”

“No, hey, I get it.”  _ Damn it, Riley. _ We sat in silence for a few long seconds before he spoke up again. “Well, I promise you I’d never do anything like  _ that. _ That probably doesn’t calm your nerves much, but hopefully it helps at least a little. We’re going to be working together for a while, you know? It’s important that you be able to trust me, so again, anything you think might help.. just let me know, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, you seem really great. I’m sorry that this is getting pushed on you, I.. I just don’t work well with not being in control.”

“Does anyone? Believe me, I’d give up my powers if it meant Masters like me didn’t exist. You kind of have to distance yourself from those thoughts when in the action, but I sure think about them a lot in the in between.”

“I’d never really thought about that.. or, I guess I had, but I didn’t apply it to someone like you. Powers you don’t want to use, it always seemed like that’d fall in the category of.. I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m trying to say, I guess I just have this preconception of Masters that I’ve never had challenged until now. I don’t want to alienate you or.. be a bitch, I guess.”

“Nah, I don’t mind. Most of us are assholes. I can handle taking a few hits for it every now and again.” He finished up the last bit of my outfit and tossed it over to me. “There you go, good as yours.”

“Thank you, for all of this.” I stood myself up and looked intently at him. “You’re really cool. Really.”

“Eh, I’m nothing special.” He headed over to the door and grabbed his jacket off of a makeshift coat rack, holding it over his shoulder with two fingers. “You take care, okay? Keep an eye on that friend of yours.” He winked.  _ He winked? _

“Um, I..” I fumbled over my words.  _ Why did he wink? Am I  _ flirting? _ Fuck, say something. _ “Can do, sir.”  _ Oh my god stop saying things before you make this worse. _ He gave me a bemused look, but ultimately smiled before he turned to leave. I immediately broke, all of the anxiety and tension I’d been suppressing for an hour finally coming up to the surface with a vengeance.

_ Did I just flirt with a fucking boy? What if he- what if- fuck! When he finds out I’m like this is he going to.. shit shit shit! Just, okay, calm down Riley. It’s okay. Breathe, breathe, good, okay. He’s- maybe he’s gay, you know? Maybe he’s just gay and so he won’t care and try to hurt me. That jacket was kinda gay, right? Like the thing with Quinn, there’s like clothes that people wear that.. ugh, fuck, but the entire point was that that’s dumb! This is dumb, I’m being dumb, I’m- but what if I’m not. _

I spent the next five minutes of my life pacing around the room of a probably straight fifteen year old boy, before making the obvious decision to just go home and talk about it with Quinn.

* * *

“Real quick, before we talk about this,” Quinn said, “I just want to say that I’ve got something to bring up afterwards, okay?” I’d calmed down a fair bit at that point, but being near her was enough to make me ease into some constructive thought.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” She waved me off and scooted closer to me. “So tell me the superhero gossip.” She was acting more playful than I’d seen in days, and while I was happy about it, I felt bad that I’d be the one to ruin the mood.

“Ah, well.. a couple things, really.” I paused for a second, collecting thoughts and kinda wishing she’d have said something else. I sighed and accepted that I had to just go for it. “Uh, so the first one, I guess, is that this is the last day I have to tell my parents about.. all of this. If I don’t, they’re going to do it for me. The PRT. Or, I mean, I guess they’d just ask me if I did and if I didn’t then they’d just not let me do things anymore but.. who knows, you know? And I’m kinda scared about this. And I need your help.”

“Right, of course. I’m sorry, I should’ve pushed you to do this a couple days ago.” She wrapped an arm around me and lightly tapped her head against mine. “We’ll deal with this. When they get home, we do it as soon as we can, okay? They’re good, they’ll support you.”

“I.. maybe they’ll support me on the cape thing, but this is.. it’s more than that, you know? I.. either I pretend to be a boy as a superhero for who knows how long, maybe  _ forever _ if I don’t want to alienate myself, or I.. I have to come out to them. I have to tell them I’m trans.” I felt a tear drop onto my hand and realized I’d started crying. “And if I pretend to be a boy then I’ll have to come out to all of the Wards right now rather than when I’m ready and.. I don’t know what to do, Quinn.”

“Fuck, yeah, I wasn’t thinking about that. We.. well, shit, what do you think would be harder? I know it’s not the ideal option, but I want to remind you that there is the possibility of  _ not _ going down this road just yet. You could be a Rogue or something until you’re ready for this.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I don’t know, I can’t do that. I’ve already introduced myself to all these people, I’m.. think of Vincent, too, you know? I can’t disappoint all these people. And what if they got into a fight and I wasn’t there and then someone gets hurt when I could’ve stopped it? No, I need to do this.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” She let go of me but placed her hand right next to mine. “Then I guess.. all there is to do is to think about which of the two options is going to hurt you less. If you’re going to be doing this for the foreseeable future, then it seems to me like the greater risk is in not telling your parents. In.. really every possible way I can think of.”

“How so? I’m not disagreeing, but I just.. want to hear it, I guess.”

“Alright, just like” - she paused to gather her thoughts - “this is going to sound a bit cold and clinical, so bear with me. If you alienate the team, you’re fucked; this whole thing stops being an option. There’s probably some workaround for the parent permission rule if you’re disowned, right?” She nudged me with her shoulder, hoping to lighten the mood. “That won’t happen, I promise. They’re good people. And both just in terms of numbers, with them being two people and the Wards being eight, and in terms of how well you know them.. well, it all just adds up to this seeming to be the safest option, Riley.”

“Yeah..”

“Besides, do you really want to hop into the closet and nail the door shut? I don’t think I could handle watching you going around as a supposed boy, throwing away this once in a  _ thousand _ lifetimes opportunity to be yourself without the hate. You have something really wonderful being offered to you, Riley.”

“It doesn’t  _ feel _ wonderful.” I threw myself backwards onto the bed, bouncing a bit before settling. “I so badly want to just be given some time to think. I don’t think I’d be fine even if we spent a  _ month _ talking this out  _ in the blue _ . Everything’s moving so quickly and I just want to take a nap.”

“Aw, hey.” She lay herself on her side next to me. “I know it’s a lot, but you know I’m here for you. At this point it’s kind of become a joke how often we’ve said that to each other, but it’s true. I can help you with all of this stuff. Your parents are going to be fine with everything, they’re really good about this stuff. It’ll be okay, okay? If it’s not, we’ll figure it out then, too.”

“Okay..” I wasn’t particularly convinced, but I didn’t feel like fighting it. Nothing good would come from protesting, and.. fuck, nothing good would come from  _ any _ of this.  _ I’m fucked, it’s just a question of how badly. _

“Do you want to talk about the other thing. Take your mind off of this for a bit?”

“I..” I groaned, bringing my hands up to cover my eyes. “Ugh, it’s really stupid in comparison to this now, I should’ve talked about it first.” I let my arms slump to the side and shifted my head over a little to look Quinn in the eyes.  _ Fuck, she’s so pretty. Why can’t I be like her? Ugh, fuck off, stop being a fucking creep and focus. _ “I think I.. hit on a guy..?” The tranquility of her face was shattered, overcome with confusion and a bit of amusement.

“I’m sorry, what?” She giggled, trying and failing to suppress a smile. “Sorry, sorry, just.. what? Didn’t you  _ just _ come out to me as like.. allergic to romance?”

“I- I’m not  _ allergic.” _ I laughed a bit too, shocked at how easily I was able to push down my pain. It came back just as quickly, though, and I almost wished I hadn’t been given the moment of relief.  _ Taunting me. _ “Just.. whatever. I accidentally might have flirted with a boy today. Like.. half an hour ago.”

“Shit, well uh.. who?” She’d calmed herself down, giving my emotions the respect they deserved.  _ Pssh, as if I deserve any of that. _ I frowned at my self deprecation. In a different time, I probably would’ve found it kinda funny, but now it just hurt.

“Marionettist.” She cringed. “No, uh- he’s not bad, I promise. He’s actually the nicest guy there, it seems.”

“Oh, you poor thing. How bad are the others, then? What’s Jaunt like?”

“Ugh, Jaunt’s.. fine.” I propped myself up with my elbow. Quinn followed my lead and took it a step further, choosing to sit cross-legged. “He’s kind of an asshole, but I think he means well. They’re all at least nice, really. Even Marionettist.”

“I mean  _ clearly,  _ if you’re  _ flirting  _ with him.”

“It’s not like I did it on purpose! I’m not even sure if I actually did or not, he just like.. winked at me when he left. I don’t know if I said something, or if he’s like.. something..? I don’t know.”

“Well, walk me through it. What happened?”

“I was just- I don’t know, fuck.. I called him Marion because of Shy and he hated it. Then we just talked about like.. names and capes and he realized I was uncomfortable so I explained why and we talked about that for a bit and how Masters are freaky and I told him about your joke and he was-”

“Sorry, what? What joke?” She cut me off before my ramble became incomprehensible. “Fuck, you mean the  _ masturbation thing?” _ I grimaced apologetically and she groaned. After a solid five seconds it turned into a laugh. “What the fuck were you thinking, you dorkface?”

“I wasn’t thinking at all! That’s the problem, I can’t remember a single thought running through my head back then. I have  _ no  _ idea what happened to make this guy think I’m interested in him. What if he’s pissed when I tell him I’m trans? What if-” For the second time in a minute, I was cut off. I felt all of the pressure return to me as I became no longer able to distract myself from my real issues.

“Hey sweetie, we brought Chinese food!” On most nights, the sound of my Mom’s voice would have been just that. Tonight, though, she was doom.

“Uh, hey Mom! Be out in a sec!” I hopped out of bed and looked around for.. what? What did I need? “Quinn, uh, what are we- what do I-?” She put a hand on my shoulder and I nearly slapped her with how violently I turned around. “Shit, sorry, didn’t think you were there, you okay?”

“Maybe you want your costume?” She held it up for me and I started at it for a long few seconds, unable to think or do anything else. “To show your parents.”

“Right.” Though I’d said that, I hadn’t actually processed what she was telling me until a second later.  _ “Right, _ okay, yes.” I grabbed the outfit and held it to my side. “Thank you. Uh.”

“Maybe you can put it on your desk and we can come get it when it’s time?” She was talking in a way that would’ve felt condescending from anyone else at any other time, but I knew her and I knew why she was acting like that. I found myself briefly wishing  _ she _ was my Mom, instead. “Or.. we could do it now? I just figured you’d want to have something to eat first.”

“No, I..” The words escaped me, floating somewhere out of reach. It took me a frustrating amount of time to pull them back down. “I don’t think I’d be able to eat right now. My stomach’s in knots.”

“That’s understandable, yeah. I guess, then.. we’re doing this?” She put her hand back on my shoulder, and this time it helped calm me down enough to make a decision.

“Fuck, I guess.” I walked forward and got ready to open the door, feeling my sweat rub against the knob. I considered looking to Quinn for confirmation, but knew that it would have been overkill at that point. With nothing left to do, we left my room and began the daunting walk to the dining room. I held my costume behind my back as I came around the corner, hoping they wouldn’t ask about it until I was ready.

“Hi, Quinn. Whatcha got there, son?”  _ Well fuck me, I guess. _ My dad was just leaving the kitchen, carrying a couple plates with to go boxes on them. He placed them at the table and sat down, patting the chair next to him.

“Uh, well.. that’s what I want to talk about, actually.”

“Is something the matter?” Mom put her fork down and started to get up.

“No!” She stopped and they both stared at me, their eyes burrowing into me and making the whole situation a lot worse. “I-I’m okay. We’re fine. I just need to tell you guys something, uh.. We can do this later, after you’ve eaten.”

“Well, you don’t seem okay. Quinn, is it something with you? Did your Dad do something?”

“Honey, stop,” Dad said.

“I’m okay.” Quinn moved from behind me, letting them see her more.  _ Maybe she wanted to give me the spotlight? No thanks, this is much better. _

“Uh, okay, just..” I’d done it to myself, but I still felt trapped knowing there was no way I could delay the situation any further. “How hungry are you guys? This might take a bit.”

“That doesn’t matter right now, sweetie. Just tell us what’s going on.”

“I..” I looked to Quinn, and to my parents, and I rubbed my thumb against the cloth of my costume before holding it out in front of me. “I’m a superhero.” They looked at me, dumbfounded. “Uh, and.. I need your permission to.. go into.. battle..”

“That’s not funny.” Dad got up and snatched the costume out of my hand. “Where did you find this? Did you  _ steal  _ it?”

“Hey, she’s not  _ joking.” _ Quinn stepped in front of me and immediately took the costume back. “When have either of us ever fucked around with something like this?” She tossed it to me and I barely caught it. “Show them.” After a few seconds of my inaction, she turned to me. “Rey, show them.” I swallowed and watched my dad look between Quinn and I, searching for answers. I couldn’t see Mom because of how everyone was positioned, but I could imagine she was just as confused.  _ Do something. Do  _ something. _ Please, just fucking do anything, just- _

“She?” My blood stopped as the world crashed around me. Not a single other word in the English language could have hit me this hard.  _ Run. Run. Run! Get the fuck out of here! Shift and leave, now! _ I stood my ground, or maybe I was just too afraid to move. I couldn’t tell the difference, but it didn’t matter. Either way, the result was the same.

“She?” Quinn parried, trying to feign ignorance. She knew what had happened. She knew how badly she’d fucked up. I could hear it in her voice, the way it shook. Nothing in this world got to her as badly as her own mistakes. She tried her hardest to recover, to force herself into any position other than the one who outed me, to give me back the agency I deserved.. and she failed.

So I took it myself.

“I’m Shift, the newest girl on the Wards. You can call me Riley Green.” I tried to fight off the effects of the silent reaction, but it broke me with little trouble. “Uh. Please, I mean..”

“She needs your approval.” Just like that, Quinn was back to doing what she did best. I wasn’t sure I could’ve done it without her, and while she probably felt awful about what had just happened, it certainly made this whole thing easier. “She can help save people. She’s good at it, too. We already stopped a guy from offing himself, just the two of us. The good she can do when I’m not holding her back, when she has the help of a coordinated team.. fuck. Excuse me for saying this, but she’s going to be the best shit that ever came to this garbage city. And whether you want her to do this or not, she’ll find a way. She’s going to fix lives and stop crime no matter what, but it’ll be a lot safer if she has a proper team watching her back. And fuck, she’ll get  _ paid _ this way. So if you give a single shit about your daughter, then you’ll support her here and now, when she really needs it.”

“You’re not..?” Dad refused to let himself look at me, opting instead to run his hands through his hair and look between his wife and my best friend.  _ Anything but his freak of a son. _ “Quinn, can we have the room?” She looked to me for my input, as if she didn’t realize or care about the implicit authority my Dad was asserting over her.

“Go ahead. I’ve got this.” She checked my expression to make sure I was being genuine, then walked by. I whispered my thanks as she passed me, hoping to ease her worries a bit while she spent who knows how long in my room. She’d be listening in the entire time, surely, but that alone probably wouldn’t be enough of a distraction. With the click of my door shutting, I surveyed the mess we’d made.

Mom was still in her seat, holding her head in thought and looking down at her rice. Dad, for his part, was trying to stay strong. He wasn’t doing the best job, but I couldn’t blame him for wanting to maintain some level of stability.

“Riley?” He was asking about the name choice, not trying to address me. “I mean.. You know your mother and I love you very much. We’ve always said we’ll support you in anything, okay?” Again, not really looking for a response. “But.. how long have you been doing..  _ this?” _

“Um.” I cleared my throat to make sure I wouldn’t be the reason we all started crying. “A couple weeks? It hasn’t been long, I promise. I just needed to figure out the right way to tell you..”  _ And legal incentive. _

“So you’re.. what, is it something we did? Do you not like the name we gave you?”

“No, Dad, it’s not like that.”

“Did your..  _ power _ do this to you? Make you want to be..?” He seemed completely lost on how to go about any of this, and I couldn’t really blame him.  _ I barely know any better, and  _ I’m  _ the one living it. _

“No. I’ve, um.. Always, I guess. I’ve always known on some level. I pushed it down for a really long time, because like.. I don’t know, I guess that’s just what you do? When something really hard like this shows up, something that changes everything, that.. makes your whole life more difficult than it should have to be..? I don’t know, it.. getting my power just kind of.. helped me accept it. I guess. Gave me a new perspective.”

“So now you’re a transgender?” Mom said. “Just like that?”

“Honey, stop it.” Dad seemed to agree that she was being a bit hostile.

“Transgender’s an adjective,” I corrected. “Look, you don’t even have to like.. I don’t even care, if I’m honest. I can just.. just let me do this and I’ll not bother you with any of this. You can keep calling me Reynold, you can pretend I’m your son, I don’t care. I just need you to let me be a hero, and I need you to let that hero be a girl.” My Mom scoffed, and Dad gave her a harsh look before turning back to me.

“I think you should let your mother and I have a talk.”  _ A command, not a suggestion. _ I complied, returning to my room. The argument began as soon as my door closed, but at least they were trying to keep it down somewhat.  _ This is my fault. _

Quinn and I said nothing to each other, but only because  _ nothing  _ was what we needed in the face of all the shouting. Every once in a while we’d take a few minutes of silence in the blue, but only when we really needed it. It offered us some relief, but extended the whole process significantly. The rest we got was minimal, anyways, since our bodies were forced to stay as tense as when we entered. Maybe we should have just snuck out, but that felt like a bit of a death sentence.  _ Will they even let me come back if I leave?  _ A little over three hours went by before the fighting stopped.

My dad knocked a little later. Quinn and I had been leaning up against the door, as if to keep the rest of the world from coming in, and she’d passed out. I shifted with her and shoved her out of the way so as not to wake her.  _ Hopefully she’s actually still asleep and not like.. trapped in some horrifying in-between state. _ I took a second to mentally prepare myself, putting my hand on the knob.  _ Here we go again. _

“Hey, Dad.” He glanced over at Quinn as the door opened, sighed, then looked to me.

“You finish your homework?”

“No. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll talk with your teachers.” He held up his keys. “Let’s go for a drive.”

* * *

I’d spent ten grueling minutes fighting off intrusive thoughts ranging from  _ “he wants to find the right way to tell me I can’t be a hero” _ to  _ “he’s taking me to the woods to shoot me for being a disgrace.” _ Most of it could thankfully be disregarded under the notion that the parts of the argument I’d been paying enough attention to hear involved him defending me, but logic rarely spoke to the core of fear.

“Your mother is going to be staying at her brother’s house for the next few days.” I felt some relief at knowing this was just another one of my dad’s late night talks - a fact I should have been able to be certain of from the beginning - but the content of what he’d said counteracted it somewhat.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, you did nothing wrong.” He gripped the wheel harder and pulled us around into the parking lot of a locally owned convenience store. “Want anything?”

“Ah, uh..”  _ Fuck, I’ve barely eaten today. _ “Bag of chips?”

“Okay, sit here, I’ll be right back.” With that, he left the car and went inside. I was beginning to realize how hungry I was as he walked around the store, pain and nausea settling in and making me regret even more of my choices from the day.  _ How does she live like this? _ He came back soon enough and handed me a small bag of ‘original flavor’ Crunchies. We sat in the lot and tore through our snacks before talking again. “I want you to know that I love you, no matter what.”

“Mm, I..”  _ When’s the last time he said that to me? Just how bad is this going to go? _ “I love you too, Dad.”

“What do you need me to do so you can do the.. the Ward thing?”

“Ah, Dad, you don’t have to do that. If this is because of what Quinn said, I-”

“I’m doing it because I want my son-” He cut himself off. “Sorry, my..  _ my kid.. _ to be safe.” He hadn’t even actually suggested that I was a girl, but I nearly found myself tearing up just at the fact that he was trying at all. “I know I can’t stop you. If you’re going to do this, I want you to have people to stop you from getting yourself hurt. Now, I.. you should know that I don’t want to know a thing about it. No powers, no.. whatever. If something happens to you, though, I’m here to help. Always, no questions asked. All you have to do is call and I’m there to stitch you up or whatever you need. Okay?”

“Okay.” He probably wouldn’t have heard me if it were any louder outside.

“The same can’t be said for the transgender stuff.” My heart skipped a beat. “It’s not my field, but I’ll look into everything that goes into that process. It’ll take some getting used to, and I can’t promise I won’t mess up, but I’m.. Damn it, I’m not going to leave my fucking kid to deal with this on her own.” He slammed his hand on the wheel, and I broke. I reached over the stick shift and hugged him. I needed to, no matter how uncomfortable the position was or how long it’d been since we’d done anything like it.  _ New me, new us. _

“Thank you.” I probably wouldn’t have cried normally, but my exhaustion pulled the tears out of me. I heard him sniffle a little as he hugged me back, but I might’ve imagined it. It didn’t matter. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” I would have to deal with Mom later. With Marionettist and doctors and bullies and paperwork and whatever the fuck else. Right then, though?

_ Fuck all that shit. _


	3. Shift 2.2

_ Why can’t I just be happy for my friend? What the fuck is wrong with me, where I’m just sitting here, being an angsty bitch about one of the best things that’s ever happened to the person who matters most to me? No matter what the fuck happens to her, I’m there to be sad about it at a moment’s notice. Ugh, and haven’t I done this all before? I spend so much time doing the same shit, over and over again, and I never get  _ anything _ out of it. _

I leaned back from Riley’s desk, sighing.  _ What’s even the point of this, anymore? What am I going to find on some shitty forum that I can’t just get from Vincent or whoever the fuck? This is fucking stupid. _ I pulled out my phone and began texting Vincent.  _ Maybe.. _

_ ‘Hey, what are you up to? If you’re available, I want to ask about the rest of the Wards. I figure that since I’m friends with two of the nine of you, I should be able to meet some of the rest. As in, I should be prioritized a bit higher than some random fan. Does that make sense?’ _

_ There, hopefully he’s not busy. I doubt he’d keep his sound on in the middle of a fight, but still.  _ He responded faster than I’d expected.

_ ‘patrolling. slow moving today, a bit of a drag. probably can’t get you anything like that, that’s not really how this works. riley got to do what she did because of prospects of joining the team. everyone’s got too much on their plate to do that for anyone else. I could MAYBE see Rue being interested in a one time meetup, but only because she’s desperate for attention. don’t count on it, but I’ll see what I can do’ _

_ Oh, fuck. _ My heart beat loudly against my chest, trying to break free. Of all the possibilities,  _ her? _ It felt too good to be true. Based on what he’d said, it very well  _ could _ be too good to be true. Despite the very conscious effort I was putting in to ensure I didn’t freak out, I was  _ kind of _ freaking out.  _ Was he there when I mentioned I’d want to meet Rue? Had Riley and I split off into our own group at that point? Fuck, it’s so hard to remember this sort of thing when he never talks.  _ Whether it was his ability to remember small details, make fairly obvious deductions, or the unrealistic chance of  _ fate, _ there was the possibility that this was happening.

_ Wait, fuck! _ All the times I’d imagined it, it was never meant to be like  _ this. _ I was always supposed to be a charming and mysterious Mover/Thinker, with maybe a hint of Trump if I got lucky. I was supposed to swoop down from the sky, my mystique and glamour causing her to be immediately impressed to such an extent that we became friends! Like this, I was just some powerless  _ nobody. _

I was about to tell Vincent to cancel the whole thing, but then a thought hit me. Once again, it would be easy to write this off as fate; to pretend I was being flung around by some invisible force. I knew better, though.  _ I’m a fucking genius.  _ I opened up Tinkor, the strongest private browser I had access to, and got to searching. _ Maybe I can’t force a trigger, but that doesn’t mean I have to give up. Vincent and Riley aren’t going to be told  _ everything _ the PRT knows. I can take what they’ve given me and go beyond it. _

One message on some throwaway thread from months ago, quickly purged as if it had never existed. Only ten other people would have seen it before it got deleted, at the very most.  _ But I’m better than that. _ I searched as many keywords as I could, determined to find  _ something _ . Outlandish rumors were oft birthed from some small reality, and I was very good at what I did, so any scrap of it would be enough to follow the trail to whatever truth lay beyond. Just one piece..

None came. Everywhere I searched, my scrap eluded me.  _ If not for that one post, I’d surely think the answer was that there was nothing to be found here.. I saw it, though. I know I did. Someone out there thinks you can buy your way into powers, and  _ someone _ wants those ideas out of the public eye altogether. I just need to go further, dive deeper, get.. fuck! _ I picked up my laptop and slammed it down on the desk in frustration, then kicked myself away from the wall. The chair spun around and came to a stop with me pointed to the window.

_ It’s a nice day out, and I’m here doing this. I’d probably have a better chance of finding my answer if I were looking for it out in the field, but I’m not dumb enough to think that’s a good idea without any powers. Kind of defeats the entire fucking point, huh?  _ I laughed a little at my own shitty situation.  _ Hopefully I don’t get desperate enough to try it anyways. Maybe I can get Riley to help me, but I can’t ask that of her so soon after my last favor.  _ I sighed and opened my phone back up, accepting things for the time being.

_ ‘Tell her I’ll buy us lunch this weekend if she’s not busy.’ _

* * *

_ Maybe I can’t get powers any time soon, but that doesn’t mean I can’t prepare for the day they arrive. Besides, this is the way you’re  _ supposed _ to lose weight. _ I’d decided I was going to start jogging a few days before, but this was the first time I’d actually taken on the task. It felt nice - almost as if I were stomping my issues every time my feet hit the ground - but the lack of external stimulation meant my brain was relying a lot more on digging those issues up in the first place. 

I’d been forced to make a quick trip to my house to find something suitable to wear, and despite Dad being far away at work, it was still an uncomfortable place to be. A thought flashed through my mind - my Dad’s head being crushed underfoot. I nearly tripped from the shock of it, and it took me a second to recover. I spent that second considering slowing to a stop, maybe giving me a chance to rest and process the many things plaguing my mind.

I shifted into a sprint. The wind rushed past me - no, I  _ tore _ through it. Every step deliberate, fierce. Concrete gave way to grass, buildings to trees, reality to something different. Something that rested above, something without room for description.  _ A high so natural, a grasp so tight that you can hardly think of anything else. Green and brown, green and brown, rocks strewn about. Nothing but the woods and that which they have ordained, watching on in disgust as you attempt to dirty the soil of this generous earth with your selfish, insignificant problems. _

I looked for a step where none could be found, and I soon found myself at the base of a small slope. The pain waited longer than usual to arrive, and I felt disconnected from it. I was well aware that it wasn’t normal to casually refer to pain as searing, and yet there I was. Before my mind could get carried away, I reminded myself that I wasn’t to trust my senses completely.  _ Even ignoring that, this is probably significantly impacted by shock. I’m probably really fucked up right now, huh? _

Standing up gave me a bit of a new perspective, as it allowed me to really take into account just how badly my ankle hurt. _ This is probably what a sprain feels like, right? Isn’t there some way you’re supposed to walk to stop one from getting worse?  _ If there was, I wasn’t doing it correctly. My hike up the hill lasted at least ten times as long as my descent had been, but I made it up. It was only when I reached the top that I fully processed what had happened to me.  _ This isn’t even that steep, why did this trip me up? _

I started walking back the direction I’d come from, but only a short moment went by before I realized..  _ Something’s here with me _ . I surveyed my surroundings, holding onto a tree for support. I checked all around me for anything, a person or a-  _ Aha! Or.. no? _ I could’ve sworn I’d seen something, but just like that it was gone. I squinted in the general direction, ready to pounce on any movement. Nothing.  _ Damn it, I’m hallucinating. _ I returned my focus to getting home without damaging myself any further, but the idea that someone was staring at me kept biting at my neck.

“I’m not doing this,” I growled. “I’m not doing the crazy shit, I’m not going to go wherever the fuck this leads! Sure, I’m talking to myself, and that’s pretty fucking bad, but it’s  _ infinitely  _ better than being paranoid about some undefined fucking  _ ‘them’ _ chasing me. Fuck that, I’m above that shit.” I waited for a response, and then screamed at myself for that.

_ Just go home. Just follow the path you made on your way here and get yourself out of this fucking forest. _ After a minute or so of walking, I saw the outline of the city. As I got closer, I began to recognize what part of town I was in. I’d apparently been curving to the left for a significant portion of my run, as I’d more or less just gone around the edge.  _ Well, that’s nice at least. _

I stepped back into reality and felt the pressure of being followed dissipate. A different pressure came to me, though, as the lack of shade forced me to take full note of just how bad my fall had been. I didn’t seem to be bleeding all too much, but that looked to be at least partially because of how much dirt had caked itself onto the bits I’d landed on.  _ I guess it’s a good thing I got new clothes, I’d hate to have anything I have over at Riley’s get this fucked up. _ All in all, people were probably going to think I was some sort of feral beast.  _ Fuck’m. _ I walked home, thinking about how nice it was going to feel to take a shower.

* * *

A couple knocks woke me up, and I nearly opened my eyes before something in me told me to wait. I felt a hand on my arm moments later, followed by the familiar pressure of Riley’s power. It probably would’ve taken me longer to realize that she thought I was still asleep if I’d actually been so for more than a few minutes. As it was, my thoughts were distinct enough.  _ I’m faking. Why?  _ I considered telling her what was going on, but I once again felt something telling me not to.

Any desire to speak up was killed when she unceremoniously shoved me onto my side.  _ Ah, you need me out of the way. I  _ guess _ this is the most respectful way to do this? I would have preferred to have just been woken up, but sure. You could’ve just been like “Hey Quinn, you fell asleep. You’re my very best friend, so I wanted to make sure you got into bed to be nice and comfy.” But nope, nope. That’s fine. It’s fine. _

_ Jesus, what’s taking her so long? _ I couldn’t hear much movement, so she must’ve just been standing there.  _ Are you seriously having to hype yourself up for this? He was the one defending you! Maybe she doesn’t realize it’s him? That was pretty obviously his knock, not Mrs. G’s. Whatever, just.. come on girl, you’ve got this. Just..  _ We transitioned out and she immediately opened the door.

“Hey, Dad.” She spoke softly, probably more out of anxiety than because she wanted to let me rest. One of them sighed.

“You finish your homework?”  _ Et tu, Green? Why does nobody give a shit about this fairly uncomfortable position I’ve been put into? Also, hey, couldn’t she have just moved me onto the bed  _ without _ waking me up? If she can push me over in the blue, why not just plop me down over the covers? What the fuck, Riley? _

“No. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll talk with your teachers.” A jingle - keys. “Let’s go for a drive.” A little bit of rustling, a few doors opening and closing, and..  _ They’re gone. _ I got up, stretched, and groaned.  _ I guess I can’t blame her for doing what she did, tonight’s been rough. And I  _ did _ completely ruin her coming out. So.. whatever. Evens out. _

I looked around me, taking in my surroundings and finding that there was nothing particularly interesting.  _ I know this place like the back of my hand, of course there’s nothing of note. So why did I pretend I was asleep?  _ It was a similar feeling to when I’d been in the woods, this tugging at the edges of my perception. A  _ something _ that I couldn’t put to words. The only way I could accurately describe it would be to call it  _ extremely annoying. _

Then, though, that  _ something  _ drew me to a new observation. The finished Shift costume lay in a crumpled pile by the bed, a bundle of blues and whites that practically begged me to..  _ straighten them out! Yes, that’s what I’m going to do, just going to fold this costume.  _ I crept over and grabbed it, holding it up from a sleeve.  _ This is the outfit of a  _ superhero _ in training, it shouldn’t just be tossed on the ground. It deserves respect. A fragile, caring touch. A, uh.. _

I stripped and discarded my clothes to the side, trying my best not to focus on the many flaws of my body along the way. I hovered my foot just above the hole of the first legging.  _ Blasphemous in the only sense of the word I can claim my own.  _ I plunged in, feeling an unnatural  _ liveliness _ emanate from the fabric. A heartbeat coinciding with mine - the mark of a role I was only just being permitted to play. Just this one time, just for a little while.

I knew, logically, that there was nothing particularly special about this set of clothes. I could pretty easily deduce that Riley almost certainly hadn’t even  _ worn _ it yet. Part of me knew that this was all  _ so  _ unbelievably stupid, and yet none of that mattered. I pulled the hood over, officially donning the ensemble, and took a look in the mirror.  _ Close enough of a fit that you could pretend it was made for me. Close enough that I could forget, just for a moment.. _

* * *

With everything assembled, I was ready to make my debut. A wonderful cerulean found its way to my boots, gloves, belt, and mask. Everything else was a light grey. Simple, sure, but why should one need any different? You wanted something distinct enough that your fans would be able to recognize you, but not something that immediately gave away your gimmick to any random enemy. The gradients that made you question whether it was the grey intruding on the blue or the other way around served to evoke the basic idea well enough.

“I am Shift, the newest member of the Wards. I can teleport from threat to threat and handily take them out with a well timed strike. My strategic prowess isn’t even born of my powers! There’s no Thinker power responsible for why I can master just about anything I need to in half the time of a normal person. I’m just  _ that _ good.” I posed for the crowd, aiming to give them the best first impression of me as I could possibly muster.

“Oh, but what’s this?” I looked off in the distance, spotting Leviathan. “The first ever Endbringer fight in Remure City? What a devastating shock! Normally, at least. This will be no obstacle for the almighty Shift!” I teleported over to my enemy, hopped up, and brought him into the blue with me. “Now all I have to do is wait. You can’t harm me, and I can’t harm you, but you have no choice but to leave eventually! I can wait indefinitely, but you’re just a simple beast. A terrifying ogre of a beast, absolutely deserving the title of monster, but  _ no match _ for my expert thinking!” He let out a groan of defeat.

“Really, it’s a wonder how people have managed without me for so long. I could’ve taken you lot out of the equation ages ago if-” The sound of wheels on gravel brought an end to my fantasy.  _ Shit. _ I started taking the clothes off as quickly as I could without tearing anything. My panic was absolutely making the whole process take longer, and if the fabric weren’t designed with the intention of combat I was sure I would have ripped it to shreds. They thankfully took their time with leaving the car, as I’d managed to get halfway through the process before I heard the doors slam shut.

_ Come on, hurry up, hurry up! Underwear, pants, top, socks last because otherwise it’s weird, toss the very precious and probably fairly expensive costume onto the very messy floor..  _ Everything was in place, and the front door to the house had only just opened.  _ Okay, shit, now what? What am I doing? Am I asleep? Fuck, just- _ I plopped down on top of the covers of the bed and leaned against my pile of pillows.  _ Just like Leviathan; all I have to do is wait. _ I giggled a bit at how stupid my own joke was.

“Oh, wait, I think I just heard her,” Riley said. Footsteps made their way towards the door, and soon it was being opened - slowly at first, in case I was still right next to it. “Yep. Hey, Quinn.” I waved, and she leaned back out of sight. “Thanks for talking with me, Dad. Let me just go grab that paperwork, okay?”

“Okay, and any time.” He sounded exhausted. Riley came inside and started going through her backpack.

“How long have you been up?”

“Not long,” I lied. “I figured I’d wait ten minutes before I concerned myself about your whereabouts. You got here right before the panicking began.”

“Ah, well I’m glad you weren’t waiting for too long.” She pulled a thick bunch of papers out of her bag and smiled at me, then headed out of the room again to where I couldn’t see. “You don’t have to do all of this tonight, but they’ll want to have us come in and talk about everything. Do you think we could do that this weekend?”

“Oof, uh..” He sighed. “I can make it work. Keep me posted, okay? I’ll get started on this..” He groaned, perhaps from being handed the heavy stack of documents, or maybe just from accepting how much work he’d have to do. “Goodnight, Riley.”

“Night, Dad.” She sounded on the verge of some sort of nervous laughter, and soon she was back in the room and smiling in my general direction.

“I take it things went well?” I smiled back.

“Incredible.” She ran over and hopped onto the bed, flashing her power for a second so she could land without causing either of us pain. She rested her head on my lap and looked up at me. My smile turned into a grin. I started rubbing her hair, and she closed her eyes and let her head tilt onto my stomach.  _ Don’t let something stupid like that ruin a nice moment. This is nice. It’s good. Just.. focus on her. _

“I’m glad. I’m sorry all the shit happened how it did, but it’s good that it’s okay now. Sort of okay, at least.”  _ Okay, fuck, focusing on her isn’t working. Focus on..  _ “I have plans this weekend, too. That’s what I wanted to talk about earlier, before everything got bad.”

“Oh yeah?” Her eyelids fluttered open, and damn did she look pretty.

“Uh-”  _ Geez, okay, I know you’re gay but that doesn’t mean you can get flustered by a friend looking nice. It’s not even like a  _ thing, _ I don’t even feel that way, but.. fuck, sometimes a girl is cute. Anyways, fuck, focus you dumbass. _ “Uh, yeah. I talked with Vincent, I’m going on a..” I hesitated. “I’m going on a date, maybe? I’m not actually sure what to call it. You’ve talked with Rue, right? Is she gay?”

“Shit, uh..” She thought on it for a little bit. “Maybe? I’m not sure.”

“Great, well.. I guess it’s a mystery meetup. I can work with that. I’m at least slightly above mediocre when it comes to handling uncertainty. Just.. prepare for everything, I guess.”

“Mm, I guess.” She let her eyes close again and shifted around to get more comfortable.  _ I wonder what she’ll look like in a few years? Assuming she’s going to change some stuff. I don’t really see the point to this if she just stays mostly as is. Not that she  _ has _ to change anything, but I mean.. why wouldn’t you? Whatever, back to normal person things like talking to their friend instead of thinking about how they make and will make a very pretty girl. _

“I started jogging on my own today.” She gave me a soft grunt of acknowledgement, apparently too tired or relaxed to do anything else. “Tripped and hurt my ankle. Thought I might’ve sprained it, but it’s mostly fine now.” I rotated my foot to test it; only a slight sting. “The woods are a weird place to be. Sort of feels like you’re being watched.”  _ And far beyond that, but there’s no need to worry her over that kind of thing. At least not tonight. _

“I think I can count the times I’ve been in them on one hand.”  _ My, my, look who’s Little Miss Talkative now. _ “You were there for a couple of them - that dumb field trip. Third grade, I think?”

“Yeah, that sounds about right. Didn’t Beth step on a bug and freak the fuck out? I think that was then, that was pretty funny.”

“Heh, yeah..” She yawned, and I realized I was feeling pretty tired too. I’d already slept for a few hours, but that didn’t stop the day from having been exhausting. “Yeah.”

“Yeah.” I let my eyelids drift down. “Goodnight, Riley.”

“Goodnight..”

* * *

“Okay, see you in a few hours,” I said. “Good luck with the stuff.”

“Thanks, I’ll need it.” Riley waved to Vincent and headed off to the Wards headquarters, leaving the two of us alone. He had the day off, so I was going to walk him home and then go for a  _ light _ jog.  _ No need to push it, I’m lucky enough that I didn’t sprain myself yesterday. _

“So, damn. Right?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “You know, just all of this. She’s got the appointment with her dad tomorrow, and she’s off doing.. whatever it is she’s doing today. I think it’s all happening a lot faster than she’s comfortable with, honestly. If I were in her place I’d-” A thought interrupted me. “Well, I guess I wouldn’t be able to go as quickly as I’d prefer, actually. I don’t know how they handle situations like mine, where there’s no chance in hell either of my parents would be willing to put in the work Mr. G’s doing.” I sighed, and he gave me a look I could at least pretend was meant to be reassuring. “Anyways, let’s get going.” We began our journey, and after a minute or so of silence, I found more to say.

“You already know about all of that. The parent stuff. I don’t know, I don’t think they’re that bad. Like they’re bad, but they aren’t  _ that _ bad, I feel.” Vincent seemed skeptical. “Well, maybe Mom is. I never have to see her, really, so it’s not like she hurts me.. but I mean, she’s not around for a reason. I don’t think I can remember a single time in my life where she wasn’t planning a future high. She doesn’t really count, though, right? I’ve been around her in person maybe twenty times in my entire life. I could blame her more for being absent, but.. isn’t that the right thing to do in her case?” He shrugged.  _ We work really well together, huh? I can just talk for hours and you don’t mind it or think I’m weird. Well, okay, maybe you think I’m weird, but you tolerate me. _

“Whatever, the point is that neither of them would be willing or able to sign the paperwork these people hand out, let alone go to a fucking meeting. I’m sure they have loopholes for the parent consent shit, but that’d still take a while longer than I’d want. I don’t know. It’s not like that’s looking to be a realistic possibility any time soon, anyways, so what does it really matter? I could be an adult by the time I trigger. That’d be bullshit. I certainly wasn’t thinking about it during a lot of awful times in my life. It’s really stupid that I got cheated out of this. I’ve heard some talk about the idea that maybe you can’t trigger until a certain age, to make sure we don’t have flame babies who can fly around whenever they’re hungry. What do you think?” He shrugged again.

“Yeah, I don’t know either. Seems too convenient. Whatever, just means I’ll have to rely on my cutting wit and dashing good looks to impress Rue. If she’s anything like I’ve dreamed, I think she’ll appreciate those things.” Vincent squinted at me, making me question what I was saying to him for the first time in the rant. “Not.. okay, not  _ dreamed _ . Bad word choice.  _ Imagined. _ Imagined works, okay? I’ve  _ imagined _ things about her a lot.” He smirked and shook his head.

“Just.. look, I know I’m gay or whatever, but that doesn’t mean I’m like..”  _ Wait, fuck. _ “Okay, okay! Fine. So I think she’s cute, what’s so wrong with that? So I watched her introduce herself to the public and thought it was really cool because she reminded me of myself and.. who cares? We’re going on a date - or whatever it is - and then we’ll just like go our separate ways and.. whatever, right? I get to have lunch with a celebrity crush. That’s more than most people can ask for like.. ever. So it just.. I don’t know..” I sighed.

“I don’t even like the place we’re going, I don’t know why I offered to go there. Maybe so I don’t have to eat? Like my subconscious or whatever the fuck. I feel weird about eating around other people.” I stopped talking, and Vincent did his best to support me. It was refreshing to have someone sponge up my venting without reacting by taking it as seriously as I was. It let me realize far sooner which of my problems were actually a big deal when I didn’t have someone like Riley matching my emotional intensity at every step.  _ Not that that’s her fault, of course. Pretty sure I accidentally conditioned her to be that way over the years. More to add to the list of how shit I am, I guess. _

“It’s probably pretty weird.”  _ I guess I’m going again. _ “Hearing this, I mean, since you know her and what she’s like. I’m trying not to just gush, but it’s kind of hard. I feel like getting this out is good, but it could also just be reinforcing these thoughts in my mind, you know? I don’t want to be one of those people who meets someone they kind of idolize and is just a big fucking weirdo about it. So I guess I’m trying to process these feelings and get them out of the way, but again I’m just concerned it might be making them more solidified, where before they were nebulous.”  _ Fuck, we’re almost to his house. Wrap it up, Kelly. _

“Anyways, I guess that’s about it. I’m just going to go into it with as much of an open mind as I can possibly have, and hopefully I don’t do anything stupid. Even if things go horribly, at least I can say I met her.” We reached the fence, and he gave me a cautionary squint. “Well, okay, not  _ say _ . I won’t be telling people, promise. You know what I mean.” He nodded and headed through the gate and up the stairs to the front door. “Talk to you later, V.”

I started my trek over to a nearby store. I’d put my freshly washed running clothes into my backpack that morning, so all I had to do was find a bathroom to change in and then I’d be good to go.  _ The extra weight from lugging textbooks around while jogging should be a nice addition to the exercise, and maybe it’ll slow me down enough that I can avoid.. whatever the fuck yesterday was. _ I got changed and headed back out, looking around to make sure nobody was paying attention to the weird girl who  _ totally  _ wasn’t shoplifting.  _ I should ask someone if it’s normal to feel guilty for shit you didn’t do just because you think other people think you did it. _

With everything set, I got started.  _ Just a short jog, I’m still getting used to this and I don’t need to aggravate my ankle.  _ I was aiming to jog to where I’d started the day before and go from there. If I kept my mind clear, hopefully I’d be able to stop that route from triggering the weird shit every time I went down it.  _ Rewrite what the route means. Form a habit to avoid repeat fuck ups. _ Was my mental state stable enough to handle such a task? Possibly not, but when had that ever stopped me before?

I reached the problem point a few minutes later, and went right past it without any issues. No brain fucky hell times for sad losers.  _ Maybe my life is falling down around me in some ways, but I’m getting better. I’ve made it through all sorts of shit before, I can take this on too. Maybe I’m breaking, and maybe there’s no glue, but shattered pieces can be rearranged. I’m making something new, and no matter how bad life gets, I’ll make it out the other end. _

* * *

_ The big day.  _ I rarely used makeup, but special occasions called for a little mascara.  _ I think just about anyone would see my first date as being a fairly special event. Not only that, but it’s my first time doing anything like.. gay or whatever. Lesbianly, if you will.  _ I smiled involuntarily, trying my best to stop myself from laughing and fucking anything up.  _ I don’t have the time to redo any of this, so keep the amusing self-banter to yourself- god damn it. Why am I so fucking witty? _

I finished up and checked myself in the mirror in as many angles as I could, looking for any and all flaws.  _ Seems good. _ With that done, all I had left to do was comb out my hair again and catch the bus. I very nearly second guessed every single part of this whole situation, but shut that part of my brain down.  _ Fuck that, I’m gorgeous and going to have a great time with a cute super-lady. I’ll eat a salad or something along those lines, and she’ll think I’m really cool and responsible. _

I finished up my preparation and headed out. I realized something particularly stupid on the bus, and texted Vincent about it.

_ ‘Hey, I can’t believe I forgot to ask this, but how is this going to work? Surely she isn’t going to show up to some restaurant in costume, right? Forgive me for a bit of paranoia, but this kind of seems like a setup to stand me up. She wouldn’t do that, right?’ _

_ ‘chill out, she’s going in civvies. thought I told you, my bad’ _

_ ‘What??? Why? I mean, that’s good that she’s not being stupid or an asshole, but.. we could’ve done something else? All she had to do was bring this up and I could have come up with a new plan. I could’ve worn the trashy costume I have and we could’ve.. I don’t know, met on rooftops? That seems to be where you meet people in this town. She didn’t have to do this.’ _

_ ‘she trusts the judgement of two of her friends and by proxy trusts you. and she wants to be pretty and goth. it’s chill, don’t worry about it’ _

_ ‘Oh, fuck. Oh fuck Vincent, I’m gay. Oh my fucking god, uh. I was about to freak out on the bus over being stood up but now I’m freaking out on the bus because I.. wow. Um. Okay, I should get ready.’ _

_ ‘have fun being gay’ _


	4. Shift 2.3

_Okay, maybe showing up twenty minutes early was a bad idea._ I sat in a corner booth, looking back and forth between the door and Vincent’s texts. _What if she already showed up and neither of us realized who the other was? Nobody who’s come in since I got here has been around my age, but maybe I missed someone? Or maybe she just looks a lot older than she actually is? Fuck, what if she’s like.. hopefully she’s not one of the younger Wards. I’d say there’s no way with a costume like hers, but you never know. I’m still amazed she was able to get the PRT to agree to something so riddled with taboo._

 _I really didn’t think this through particularly well, did I? A lot of holes in the information I got. I really just went out and did this shit without any serious preparation. I always assumed the whole trope of love making you do stupid things was bullshit, but this has been pretty fucking stupid. Not that I’m in_ love, _obviously, that’d be-_ My thoughts got cut off by a very cute goth girl entering the restaurant I suddenly regretted inviting her to. She looked around and quickly determined that I was the one who’d brought her here. She walked over and took a seat across from me.

“Quinn, right?” _Oh fuck._ Her voice was deeper in person, or maybe she altered it a bit when in costume to make it harder to identify her. Either way, it was far more.. _adult_ feeling, here and now. _God, can I call it seductive? Is that legal?_

“Yes.” I shifted around, realizing just how uncomfortable my everything was. _Can she project discomfort? Does that count as pain?_ After a few seconds of me awkwardly squirming and not saying anything else, she spoke up.

“You can call me Barb.” I swallowed, laughed a little bit, and took a huge sip of water. “You doing okay there?”

“Hah, uh, yes?” I put the glass down and took a deep breath to stabilize myself. “Yes. I’ve just never done this kind of thing before, let alone with someone who..” I cleared my throat. “Your elegance is a bit overwhelming, if I’m honest. I should be fine now that I’ve had a moment to adjust.”

“Ah, there we go. I was worried I’d run into the wrong Quinn. Vincent said you were fairly wordy, and never mentioned any of this over-the-top blushiness.” She smiled at me, and I nearly melted. _Calm yourself, gaywad._ I got ready to respond when- _Wait, fuck, I’m blushing? Shit, now you_ really _need to calm yourself._ “Hey, don’t worry about it.” She reached out and touched her hand to mine. “It’s cute.”

 _Ah fuck._ I lowered my head a portion and focused on the feeling of her fingers. _She’s warm. All the blood rushing to my face making my hands cold? Is that how that works? Fuck, and she’s really fucking cute._ Her clothing choice was more tasteful than I’d been expecting, but it was still more provocative than I would ever wear. _Or maybe I’m just a little too enamoured._

“Can you blame me? Surely you’re well aware of how nice you look.” She’d left some of her shoulders exposed, despite the weather, but that was partially made up for by the thick wool covering most of the rest of her torso. Under the sweater was a tight, sleeveless top. A spiked choker wrapped itself around her neck where the top ended. Her hair was short and a slightly darker black than mine - dyed, it seemed - and it draped over her left eye. She’d opted for lipstick that was just.. _Fuck. He wasn’t lying when he said she’s goth, huh?_

“We both know I’m not aiming for nice.” She winked. _Fuuuuuck! How is it even possible to have a person be_ this _much of my type? I didn’t even realize I_ have _a type until recently! Fuck!_

“And yet you hit that mark and far beyond.” I took another deep breath and straightened my posture. “Anyways, what would you like to eat?”

“No idea, what’s good here?”

“Uh.” _Shit, of course she’d.. fucking hell, me._ “I don’t know, I’ve been here like.. twice. I was just going to have a salad and hope you liked whatever you got.” She laughed a little louder than I was comfortable with. After she settled down she looked at me and tilted her head a bit, taking me in.

“Well, that’s dumb.” She smirked, and I couldn’t help but give a little laugh. “Wanna go see a movie instead?”

“Oh, fuck, absolutely.”

* * *

The Prince and the Tooth, a romcom, wasn’t _quite_ what I’d expected, but Barb seemed to be a natural when it came to subversion of all kinds. Things weren’t entirely out of my perception of her, though, because we’d spent most of the movie trash talking it in the back aisle. People had tried to get us to quiet down a few times, but there wasn’t much lower of a volume than where our whispers were at. Were we assholes? _Absolutely._ I didn’t mind it, this time.

Something I _did_ mind was the bag of popcorn sitting between us. Part of the reason why was because it limited how much the two of us could.. _physically interact,_ but the smell was more of an issue. I’d been debating with myself for half an hour on whether or not it was okay for me to have some. _You know full well that you won’t be able to stop once you get started. I can tell myself all I want that it’s fine to have a couple bites because I ended up skipping a meal, but that’s bullshit. There’s no chance in hell that I’m going to stuff my fucking face in front of my first date. I’ll eat later._

“Not hungry?” _Fuck._

“Uh.. no,” I lied. She looked at me curiously.

“You invite a girl to lunch and you’re not hungry?” I forced myself to stare at the screen. She grabbed the bag and held it out to me. “You’ve been eyeing this stuff the whole movie. Look” - she shook it, drawing my eyes to the sin in question - “I finished most of it already. If you’re worried about me, don’t be.”

“I’m-” I pushed her hand away. “I’m not. I just don’t want it. I’m not hungry.” She squinted at me for a moment, but backed down. “Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s my bad. I’m a bit too pushy at times. It’s what I want when I’m feeling reservations about something I know I want to do, and you seem.. Mm. I misread you. It is what it is.” I looked over at the bag, and at her. She was distracting herself with the movie, or pretending to, like I’d done a moment prior. I hesitated for a moment, but reached over and grabbed a couple pieces. Her eyes followed my hand, and she watched as I placed them in my mouth and started chewing. “Now I _really_ don’t understand you.”

“Mm.” I swallowed. “I just, mm..” _How to put this?_ “I don’t like people being around when I eat, but.. you trusted me with your thing.. so I can trust you with this.”

“Ah, gotcha.” I got a handful and started eating a few pieces. “Well, you look cute, for what it’s worth.”

 _Oh._ Her compliment took me off guard, and I must have gasped or.. something, as I soon found myself to be choking. _Hmm?_ My hands were at my neck, and.. _People?_ It all felt so distant, I couldn’t quite make out what- I coughed up a hilariously small piece of popcorn onto the floor. “Fuck, are you okay?” I looked up at her, seeing that another person was there. Some man.

“Uh.” _Am I? I don’t.._ “I’m okay.” _I.. am?_ I stretched and looked around. The movie was still going for the few people who weren’t looking over at me. There weren’t many people in the theater to begin with, but the small group of eyes made me uncomfortable. “Can.. I’m okay. Can we go?”

“Are you sure?” _The man._ Someone who worked there, it seemed. I looked at him blankly for some amount of time, then nodded. I grabbed Barb’s hand and pulled her outside. She said something to the man; I didn’t hear it. Once we were out in the light, she became the one pulling me, leading me to a nearby alley.

“Hey.” She spoke in a low voice, careful not to grab anyone’s attention. “Are you okay? Actually.”

“I..” _Why is this so.._ “Maybe? I feel.. it’s.. fuzzy. Happens sometimes, uh..” I blinked, slowly, and looked into her brown eyes. “Your.. eyes are like mine. I like them.” She looked at me like I was insane and let go of me, taking a step back.

“Are you.. _flirting_ with me right now?”

“Huh?” I blinked a few more times and looked down at my hands. “I’m.. no, sorry. I have some problems with me, I didn’t want you to know.. I don’t even know what just happened, it’s..” I forced my head up through an ocean of air weighing down on me. “Maybe we should call this thing short? I’m sorry, Barb, I-”

“No, it’s fine, I just.. fuck, you could’ve _died._ I nearly just killed a girl on her first date and she- you don’t even seem to fucking care?” _Anger. She’s mad._

“I just.. choked for a second, I’m fine.”

“Quinn.” She lifted my head up from the chin, orientating me so I was face to face with her. “That lasted like _fifteen_ seconds. Fuck, dude.” She let go of me again and studied my face. I missed the feeling of her. _Aren’t you overreacting a bit? Fifteen seconds?_

“I.. some people respond to danger in some ways, and.. sometimes I get.. foggy. I’m sorry that I’m foggy and not.. freaking out or.. I don’t know. I don’t remember the word for the fog right now, I found it recently.. I’m sorry.” She made a face and turned away from me, sighing. I wanted to go over to her, but my legs weren’t listening to me.

“I know it’s a sore spot for you, but thank fuck you aren’t a cape. You’d be dead in a week.” My reaction came in slow motion, but the fog was beginning to dissipate. Enough, at least, that I could begin to process things.

“It’s gone. Mostly.” _More like halfway, if even that, but she doesn’t need to know that._ “I’m okay. Actually, this time.” She must’ve noticed how much more clarity I was able to fit into my voice, because her tone changed. It sounded more like her talking to an equal, now, than an underling.

“Quinn, I..” She groaned. “Fuck, I hate that you’re exactly what I’m looking for.” She turned back to me. There was still anger there, but it was mixed with something else. If I’d been more mentally present, I could’ve identified it. “A reckless mess who is just _such_ a civilian. It’s so clear that you haven’t had to- fuck. _Popcorn._ From a crush calling you cute. That’s so perfectly pathetic, _exactly_ what I want, and that’s.. awful!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I scowled. Part of me was concerned that people were going to be listening in, but I also _really_ didn’t give a shit if her cape status got outed right then.

 _“Me?”_ She exhaled in some mix between a scoff and a laugh. “Oh my shit, Quinn. Vincent said you’re some kind of fucked, and hell, _I’m_ some kind of fucked, but this is something else. You’re like a fucking siren. Such an innocent little bitch, but one who’s got some _depth_ to her. I know I should stay away, but _fuck,_ you even had to go and be cute!”

“What, so I’m like a spectacle to you?” _How did this even happen? We were making fun of a stupid movie not even ten minutes ago. And.. what did Vincent tell her?_

“God damn it.” She stepped forward until we were right next to each other, and spoke below her breath. “I am _so_ fucking sick of heroes and villains and whatever the fuck else. I hate it, I hate all of this shit. I am an inch away from going rogue and ditching this shithole of a city.” She exhaled what remained of her last breath right onto my face, and inhaled again. “The only thing in the entire world that could stop me from getting away from all this awful shit is someone _just_ like you.”

“An anchor, then?” I stared her down, not willing to let myself falter. “Someone who’s just bland enough to remind you of what you’re fighting for? The little people?” She didn’t say anything, so I took the opening. “That’s fucking stupid, Barb. You’re no more than a year older than me, you’re not some washed up war veteran who needs to be reminded about the good in the world. You’re a selfish bitch who wants to push her problems onto whoever the fuck will accept it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you!” I turned around and started stomping away, but- “Fuck, what’s your number?”

* * *

“I’ll be honest, Riley, I have no clue what happened.” I was draped over the swivel chair to maximize my ability to convey the melodrama of the situation. “I almost feel like I must’ve imagined the whole thing. It was so sudden? Just, bam! Out of nowhere, it seems.”

“I mean, she’s got a bit of a temper, so.. Maybe you two just didn’t mesh well? I know it feels shit, but it’s probably better to find this out ahead of time, you know?”

“Well, that’s the thing though. It went _fine._ Good, even. We had a great time - or at least I think she did too - and even when we were shouting at each other, it was kind of nice? Like.. I don’t know, she’s kind of a raging selfish bitch, but I am too.” The fact that she didn’t speak up would’ve said a lot if she were any other person. “I don’t know, I think we both just have a lot of shit to deal with, and I think she knows it too. We both just kind of wanted that out on the table, maybe? I don’t know, maybe I’m projecting.”

“No, I think, uh.. Yeah. That sounds very her. She seems more than down to just dump all her issues on you, if you’re willing to listen to them. I didn’t think she’d get all yelly, but I can’t say I’m surprised.” She looked at me for a moment and sighed. “You’re going to keep talking to her, then?”

“I mean, of course. What, you think I’m going to _not_ chat with the goth superhero girl? Just because she’s as much of a bitch as I am? Fuck that shit. She’s pretty, I’m apparently _perfect_ for her.. yeah, no, there’s no way I’m not texting her.” I moved around so I was sitting normally. “I’m turning a new leaf, Riley. Several leaves, in fact. I’m done being the crazy, reclusive loser that everyone either tries to forget exists, or tries to fuck over. I’ve been talking with David, we’re going to get some shit done. _Actual_ changes, no bullshit. Maybe, hah, maybe I’ll make a new friend at school on Monday? Who the fuck’s going to stop me, you know?”

“Uhh.. I guess?” She laughed, unsure of herself. “Yeah, I.. Sorry, I uh.. I don’t really know what to say? I’m glad you’re turning leaves. Just.. be careful and stuff, okay? I know this all seems really exciting, but you should take your time with this. Someone like Rue might not be the best.. influence, I guess. But I’ll trust you.”

“Thanks, boss.” Ever since she’d been hanging out with the Wards, she’d been acting more condescending. It was a little frustrating, but at least it was happening right as I was getting new people to talk to. _I can just take some time to give her the space she needs, and keep working on myself. Independence is good, apparently, so we can both just.. have some of that for a bit._

“So the meeting went well.” She scooted closer to me. “Dad was more accepting of things that I was expecting.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“Yeah, and uh..” She looked to her backpack for a moment, then back to me. “It’s almost Halloween.”

“And?” I had a pretty good guess where things were going, but I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions.

“Well, there’s some discussion going around. People think the Mixup Marshals are going to crash a party or something. I guess they’ve got some vendetta against holidays? So, uh.. I’m going to be going out to patrol or.. stakeout, or something.”

“Mm.”

“Uh.” She looked confused and a little concerned. “You’re fine with that, then? No spooky movie night, no.. nothing? You’re just fine with me going off to fight supervillains?”

“Mm,” I repeated. I tilted my head ever-so-slightly, inspecting her. “Yeah, I guess. They’re probably the best you can hope for in terms of a first fight, right? I mean, they aren’t a huge threat.” I shrugged. “Maybe if this was happening a week ago I’d be a little freaked, but I’ve already come to terms with this stuff. You heard what I said to your parents, I know you’re going to be doing this whether you’re with a team or not. So.. yeah, I don’t know. Go for it.”

“Well..” She frowned. “Okay? I.. I mean, _I’m_ a little anxious about all of this. I guess I thought you’d feel the same..?”

“Well, I mean, listen..” I got down from the chair and sat next to her, pressing myself as close to her as I could without hurting either of us. “As I said, like, day one.. your power kind of guarantees you survive anything. And again, really, these guys are _pathetic_ by cape standards. I’m pretty sure they haven’t won a single fight they’ve been in. I guess I just don’t see any chance of you getting hurt.”

“I.. I guess. I don’t know.” She leaned her head on my shoulder. _Mm.. Maybe no independence just yet._

“You want to go shopping to take your mind off of this?” She shook her head. “Mm.. We could pick up a scone or two on the way there.” She considered it for a moment.

“Okay.”

* * *

“Hey, it’s okay.” I rubbed her back, hoping to comfort her. “They’re not here anymore.”

“Is it, Quinn?” She laughed between tears. “I mean, like.. really? If.. fuck, this is so stupid. I’ve seen them at school for days since this shit, for.. _years_ since they first started doing this, you know? I guess I just- I guess it’s different here? At school, I’m expecting it. I know I’m going to see them. Maybe they don’t do anything that day, maybe they do, but they’re going to be _there._ Here, though? I’m just trying to go shopping with my friend, and.. and..” She started sobbing again, so I held her.

“It’s going to be okay.” Someone walked into the little outpost we’d found, and I stared him down. As uncomfortable as I was making him, I wasn’t able to stop him from going into the bathroom. _Asshole, there’s another set on the other side of the mall. Whatever._ “They wouldn’t do anything here, anyways. Too many witnesses.”

“That didn’t stop them before. Fuck, I-” She coughed into my shoulder. “I need- I’m gonna throw up.”

“Shit, okay.” I used the wall to help her up, looked between the two bathrooms, and made a decision. _If anyone gives her any shit for this, I’ll fuck them up._ “Come on.” I led her into the girls’ bathroom and into a stall. Nobody else was here, it seemed. She began retching as soon as she got to the toilet, but nothing was coming of it. I squatted down and rubbed her back. “That’s the worst, when it just-” Vomit. “Ah. Nevermind.”

I kept doing what I could to comfort her as she.. _Guh, she’s making_ me _feel sick._ There was also an uncomfortable hint of nostalgia. _Okay, fuck that, going to take my mind off of things. What can I think about? Barb, I guess. So, I guess I’m like her girlfriend or something now? How does that shit even work? People don’t actually do the whole sappy talk about ‘what their relationship stands for’ or whatever, right?_

 _Whatever, whether we’re girlfriends or not, we’re_ something. _It’s something confusing, but that’s to be expected. I wonder how many people she’s dated before me? From what Vincent had to say, probably a fair few. That’s fine, I don’t mind that. Someone with a little more experience is probably a really good match for me. I can learn from her, figure out how all of this shit works._ Riley lifted her head up and sat on her heels, putting an end to my pondering.

“Uggghhhh.”

“Yeah.” I rubbed her back some more. “How you feeling?”

“I don’t know.” _Yeah._

“Uh, shit, you got- here, let me just..” I grabbed a wad of toilet paper and wiped off the corner of her mouth. “You want to get out of here?” She shrugged. I got up and pulled her to her feet. “Here, let’s get one thing. We came here to buy something cute for you, so we’re going to do that before we leave. Okay?”

“Okay.” I led her out of the bathroom, thankful that nobody was there to be assholes about us. We walked through the mall for a bit, and I searched around for a good place to stop. She was a bit too out of it to help me out, focusing all of her attention on looking for her assailants. _Can’t blame you, but you know we’d be out of here sooner if you helped me out._ She stopped walking. “Shit.”

“What?” I checked where she was looking, but didn’t see anything.

“Ugh, nothing, just.. The scone went to waste.”

“Mm.” If there was a subtle way to tell someone that you couldn’t give less of a shit about wasting food from throwing up, I couldn’t think of it. “Don’t worry about it, those things are cheap.”

“I guess.” We continued our search. Despite my hopes, her anxiety wasn’t seeming to calm down at all. _Okay, at this point I’m just going to pick something at random. No need to drag this on if it’s just continuing to stress her out._ I looked at our immediate surroundings and picked a store with some bows in the display case. We went there, and I quickly located a light blue one.

“Turn here.” She shifted her head slightly in my direction, and I put the bow on top. I took a step back and gave her a look. _Cute, if you ignore the fact that she looks kind of shit right now._ “I like that.” I pulled her over to a mirror. “What do you think?” She shrugged, not even seeming to have actually given it any thought. “Mm.” _Good enough for me, I guess._ I took it back off of her and got in line to make the purchase.

* * *

“I don’t know, Quinn, I just don’t see this lasting.” We were back home, and Riley was doing only moderately better. _At least she’s keeping the bow on, that’s probably a good sign._ “I think the only reason people haven’t caught on is because they aren’t looking for someone like me. My voice is shoddy at best, and I’m not sure I can keep it up in the middle of combat. And.. let’s be real, I _don’t_ have a feminine figure. The costume helps hide that a bit, but I just can’t imagine people not catching on soon. Assuming they haven’t already.”

“Riley, you got _harassed_ for how feminine you look. Maybe you’re not some.. voluptuous.. _whatever.._ but you’re pretty fucking cute. I don’t think anyone’s going to find out just from that.”

“But it’s not _just_ that. It’s everything together. I’ll take one bad hit and make some gross masculine sound, and then everyone will know what I am.” I leaned over and hugged her.

“Maybe you need to.. have a talk with some of them. Maybe not everyone at once, just whoever you think is likely to figure it out. They’ve got to find out eventually, and.. I mean.. it doesn’t really change anything if they hate you now or later, _if_ that’s what ends up coming of this. Which it won’t be. Wouldn’t it be nice to get it out of the way early on? Before you can get.. attached, I guess?”

“Maybe,” she sighed. “I don’t know. People don’t really work like that, Quinn. Or I don’t, at least. I.. I don’t know. If I had the option to avoid this forever, I would pounce on it in an instant.”

“I mean-”

 _“Not_ with my power,” she interrupted. She squirmed her way out of my hug. _Yeah, that’s fair. I deserve that._ “God, just..” She sighed again. “I don’t know, I just like.. lost a _parent_ over this. I’m still not even sure how I feel about that, you know? I’ve tried to tell myself like.. ‘oh, it’s fine, if she doesn’t love you enough to stay with you through and through, then that’s her loss!’ But that’s stupid. Emotions don’t just go away because you know they shouldn’t be here. At the same time, though..? I don’t think I’ve cried about it. It’s sad, and I feel like shit about it, but I don’t know. I guess maybe I’ve just felt like I don’t deserve parents as good as I’ve had my whole life, so now this feels.. _right,_ in some way?”

“Rye..” _That sounds like some bullshit, but I’ll let it slide._ “I think the worst case scenario, realistically, is that you’re just going to get one or two of them to be a little weirded out. They’re not going to kick you off the team or whatever, and anyone who’s a dick will just have to learn to deal with it. Besides, I’m pretty sure you’d be worse off if they found out in the middle of a fight. Any way other than you outright telling them, really.”

“I _know._ But that doesn’t make any of this less..” She groaned. “Just, fuck, I don’t know. I’m going to do it, you _know_ I’m going to do it. I just want like.. I don’t know. Give me a moment.” A millisecond and a few inches later, she continued. “Hey, sorry, just needed to think.”

“Don’t worry about it, I get it. I’d abuse the hell out of your power if I had it.” _Like using it to daydream about single-handedly defeating Leviathan_ without _having to worry about being interrupted._

“Right, so just.. I just needed some time to think on this. Accept it, I guess. That’s been a lot of what I’ve had to do, you know? Just have to.. accept it. Things are going to be how they are, and I can’t do anything about it. And that sucks. It sucks a fucking lot. But that’s my life.”

“Mm..” _Okay, maybe today wasn’t the best day to do my whole ‘healthily distancing myself’ thing. Good for us as a long term goal, maybe, but.._ I hugged her again, knowing it could’ve been up to half an hour since I last did so from her perspective. “I love you, Riley, and I’m.. I’m sorry I’ve been kind of shitty today.”

“Quinn, you comforted me while I was puking from an anxiety attack. And you got me this thing.” Her arms were trapped by my death grip, so she moved her head around to make it clear she meant the bow. “You’ve been great.”

“If you say so.”

“Just.. yeah. It’s been a lot of shit, one thing after the other, but look at us. You’re making new friends, I’m a _superhero,_ it’s.. we’re figuring stuff out. ‘We grow past the scars which taint us’, right?” _Holy shit?_

“Did-” My mouth hung open in disbelief. “Did you just quote _Rogues in Satin_ at me? In the _middle_ of our _serious_ conversation?” She gave me a wry smile.

“What can I say? Fourteen year old Quinn was a visionary ahead of her time.” I exhaled in a mix between a scoff and a laugh, then hit her with a nearby pillow.

“Asshole.”

* * *

_‘They were like elves, almost, in their nature. They prayed for the slim chance of any such intervention, and it oft found its way to them. Interesting, that, that miracles should grant themselves only to those who go looking._

_Today, though, there would be no intervention. If a God truly does exist, he would have no part in this. Flameflurry, Scrooge, and Balance Act would have to go to war.’_

I leaned back onto a couple pillows and groaned. _God, it’s so bad. I know I improved a bit over time, and eventually these dumbasses get better names, but.. Fuck, what a stupid concept._ I sighed, sat back up, and got back to the cringefest.

_‘Surely only the willing should be expected to fight, but these three Rogues were too special to be left to their own devices. These Rogues were more powerful than they could’ve ever believed, and they needed to be put to good use. On top of all that, though, they needed to figure out who had discovered the true, hidden power that dwelled within them. Theories were flung around, with accusations sprinkled about, but they got no closer to the answers they wanted._

_The airship reached its destination, and they all left the cargo room. An old army man awaited them on the outside, and he told them what their mission was. They were to use their carefully selected group of powers to infiltrate the enemy’s headquarters. Once they did that, they would have to do it again for similar bases all throughout the world. They were soldiers now.’_

I pushed my laptop off to the side, rolled over, and yelled into the blanket. _Was I allergic to dialogue back then? What the fuck? Nobody’s fucking_ saying _anything!_ I groaned for a little bit, then got back to my computer. I scrolled down to the bottom of the page and started writing up an anonymous comment.

_‘Consider this a bit of advice to anyone doing themselves the disservice of reading this two year old (as of writing) garbage. First off, I suggest that you stop reading at this point. The story gets marginally better, but not enough so that it’s worth going through the terrible early content._

_Secondly, if you have ever considered writing or ever_ will _consider writing, discard anything you may have learned here. The author is incapable of creating subtle foreshadowing, and seems to think that you can’t include frequent dialogue in a story which is meant to focus on the long term (over a decade) implications of cape warfare. The characters are not people, they are simply tools which exist to be pushed around by the story’s whims.’_

After I posted the comment, I stretched my back and neck a bit. _Whatever, it’s not like anyone’s going to see that anyways. It still hasn’t even hit a hundred views. At least maybe now I can save a few poor souls from experiencing that trash._

I closed my laptop and was about to get changed to go jogging, but a thought crept into my mind. I stared at my phone for a minute before picking it up and calling a number I had memorized ages ago. It rung a few times before she picked up.

“Hello?” She sounded groggy.

“Hi, Mom.” My voice came out softer than it usually did, but that always seemed like the right thing to do when talking to her. _Preserve the innocence, I guess._

“Oh, hey Quinn” - some shifting around - “Sorry, you caught me in the middle of a nap. What’s up?” I sighed.

“Um, just.. I just wanted to hear your voice, I guess. Things have been kind of hard lately, and I haven’t been over at Dad’s for a little while. I’m about to- I _should_ be jogging right now, but I wanted to talk to you.”

“You started jogging? That’s nice. Healthy.” She was moving about. Slowly, from the sound of it.

“Yeah, yeah. Good to get in shape and whatever.”

“Yeah. So how’s school?” _Just going to move past the Dad stuff. Okay, I guess._

“Uh, school’s fine. Getting nothing but ‘A’s like always.”

“Oh, that’s great. I’m proud of you.” _She sounds genuinely happy to hear that. If only I could get this for anything other than something as worthless as grades._ Regardless of my bitterness, it made me feel a little happier.

“Thanks, Mom.” I heard some rattling, maybe preparation for dinner. Hopefully. “And, um.. Sorry we haven’t gotten a chance to hang out recently. Maybe I could.. come over for Halloween? Rey’s going to be busy this year, so we could put on a horror movie or something..?”

“Ah, yeah, I think I can do that. I don’t have anything planned” - a little more rattling - “Yeah, that should work. That’ll be nice, it’s been a while.”

“Yeah. Um.. Well.. I’ll see you then, okay?”

“See you then. I love you, Quinn.”

“Love you.” I hung up and looked at the screen until it faded to black, then headed out for my run.


	5. Shift 2.4 R

“So here’s what I’m thinking.” Vincent had just gotten adjusted to the blue, so I got to work. “I thought about this a bit after a talk with Quinn, but most of this is my own idea. I figure you can give me your input, and.. it involves you anyways, so..” I waited for confirmation beyond a nod, but he took a moment to catch on.

“Go on, then.”  _ Must still be weird being able to talk after all this time. I guess I can’t blame him for keeping it brief. _

“Right, sorry. So as you know, I am trans.” I paused, and he blinked a couple times at the silence.  _ Why am I being so weird about this? Condescending asshole. _ “Just, yeah, so I need to tell people about it. I think it’ll be easiest to do this in two groups, one today and the other.. maybe after the fight? I’ve picked the people who I think are most likely to figure it out during the fight, and.. well, I don’t want them to be thinking about that in the middle of combat. You know?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.  _ Right. Brevity and all that. He says so  _ much _ over text, I just.. whatever, stop being a dick. _

“Yeah, so uh. I was thinking Boon, Partition, and Rue. The first two because they’re the leaders, so if they were to realize it and get messed up in the middle of the fight, that could put us all in a lot of risk. Rue because.. I think she might already know..? She’s been acting weird around me, even before her date with Quinn. Also just, she’s gay, so she’ll probably be more accepting of that sorta thing, I guess?”

“She’s bi.”

“Oh. Well still.”

“Also, she’s flirting with you. She thinks you’re cute.”

“Wh-” I probably would have blushed if my power allowed it. “Huh? I- she does? She.. what? _ ” _

“You really didn’t know? She’s not been subtle about it.”

“Seriously?” He nodded. “Fuck. I guess since she’s bi that’s less of an issue..? But speaking of that, I have no idea what to do about Marionettist. He seems great, but he’s like.. I’m pretty sure he’s into me, and I’m worried he’ll be pissed when he finds out I’ve been like..”

“Misleading him?”  _ Ow. _ “He’s not going to see it that way. Promise.”

“Really? I.. I mean,  _ I’d  _ probably be upset about it, and I have firsthand experience. I don’t see-”

“Riley. It’ll be fine.”

“Ah.”  _ Fuck, I’m making him do the thing Quinn does.  _ “Uh, just.. Thank you. Yeah. I’ll take your word for it, and.. Okay, anyways, moving on. I think having you there to support me will help a lot, even when you can’t say anything. Just sort of standing next to me and.. nodding and whatever.”  _ Be polite. _ “Uh, if that’s fine with you, of course.” He nodded. “Heh, yeah.. Um. And I guess that would be when I tell everyone who I am. My name and all of that. It’s been like, what, two weeks?”

“Week and a half.”

“Right, right. That’s.. so yeah, uh. We can.. I think it’s been long enough that I can share my stuff and they can.. yeah. If they want. I mean, Barb already did, but you know what I mean.”

“Makes sense. Don’t expect an identity reveal from Partition, he’s a bit more cautious than most people.”

“Ah, yeah, that makes sense, given the-” I suddenly became very aware of the fact that I was talking to a person of color. “Uh- the.. His.. Like, how he’s black. I guess.”  _ That was possibly the worst way to handle this, you fucking dumbass.  _ “I mean- just, because you have to be, right? Cautious? How I’m, like, I don’t- it’s not the  _ same _ but I’m like.. I’m trans, and so it’s dangerous to.. um. Sorry.” He seemed a little amused at my struggling.

“You’re fine, you didn’t say anything shitty. I hope you’re not fumbling like that every time you talk with him, though.”

“Hah, I.. no, I’m not.” I laughed awkwardly. “Anyways, um. Right, so.. Does that make sense? That group?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Okay, cool, um.. Okay. I guess we should go round them up, then?”

“Yep.”

“Okay. Thank you for talking this out with me.”

“Any time.”

* * *

“Alright,” I said. “Everyone’s here, and- are you all comfortable?” 

“I am,” Boon said. Partition nodded in agreement, and Rue gave me a thumbs up and a smirk.  _ Great, just what I need. _

“Okay, cool, so I’ve brought you here today to discuss my civilian identity. Rue, my..  _ friend  _ probably already told you my name. There’s still some stuff you don’t know, though.”

“Ooh, mystery girl,” she played. I swallowed. Boon seemed annoyed, but it thankfully wasn’t directed at me.

“Um. Yeah. So, my name is Riley. I’m sixteen as of four months ago, almost exactly. I, uh..” I trailed off, and Rue decided to interpret that as an opening.

“I’m Barb, but you already know that.”

_ “Rue,” _ Boon warned.

“Oh hush.” She rolled her eyes so hard her head came along for the ride. “Anyways, I’m turning sixteen next February, but don’t tell Quinn that. She thinks I’m older than her, it’s cute.”

“Great, now  _ let Riley speak. _ You’re being rude.”

“No, she’s- it’s fine,” I said. Rue stuck her tongue out at him before exaggeratedly zipping the mouth of her costume shut. “Uh, but yeah, um..” Their eyes shifted back to me, and I froze.  _ Fuck, what do I do now? How are you supposed to do this with this many people? I wish Quinn could do this for me again. _ Vincent did the closest equivalent and nudged me. I looked over at him and he nodded. “There’s a bit more to it, I guess.” I cleared my throat, hoping on some level for another interruption. None came.

“Fuck, so I guess I just go for this,” I continued. “Okay, so there’s more to me than just that. I mean, you could say that about anyone, but like.. There’s more I need to say. For everyone’s sake. And maybe our safety.” The leaders seemed to be taking this seriously, but Rue’s eyes clearly showed off a smile. “Not like I’m going to explode or.. uh, anything like that. Just that you should be able to trust me on the battlefield and uh.. you know?”

“You’re stalling.” It was the first thing Partition had said since sitting down, and it was the exact thing I wished I didn’t need to hear.

“Right, sorry.” I took a deep breath and looked at Vincent one more time, not waiting to see his response.  _ Just get it over with.  _ “So, I’m a transgender girl.” Partition’s eyebrows raised a fraction, Boon seemed disappointed, and I heard a muffled ‘ooo’ come from Rue. They were letting me continue, no matter how much I wanted an excuse to stop.  _ This doesn’t get any easier, does it? At least no one’s yelling.  _ “Uh, and I.. I’m going to tell the others after the fight, I don’t think I could keep this up much longer even if I tried. I just needed to give it some time. I hope you can understand and.. not be mad at me or let this impact stuff.”

“Ah, well thanks for telling us. I’ve got a couple trans friends from group, so no judgement here.”

“Yeah,” Boon said, “I thought you were going to be telling us something a bit more serious than this. I would’ve brought something to work on if I’d known it was just this. We’ll support you, man.” _ Uhhhh. _ I was going to say something, but Rue did it herself.

“No, dumbass.” She hit him in the shoulder with one hand and unzipped her mouth with the other. “She was born a guy and now she’s a girl.”

“Oh, I thought-” He looked at me. “Sorry, you said transgender girl, I thought you meant you’re a girl who wants to be a guy. My bad.”

“Ah- uh, it’s fine,” I said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Mm. You’re very responsible, Riley. I’m glad to have you on the team.”  _ So I’m not kicked off, at least. That’s good. _

“Oh, so wait, do you still have a dick?”

“Rue,” Partition warned, standing up to emphasize the point.

“I was just asking a question!”

“Ask when you’re alone, we don’t have time for this.” She seemed offended by what I guessed she saw as a betrayal, but kept her mouth shut.  _ He does sorta just outright cancel her out in a fight, so that’s probably the best move.  _ “Sorry about her. Let’s get back to the point, then. As thanks for trusting us with this, I might as well return the favor.” He removed his mask and held his hand out to me. I shook it. “I’m Eddie.”

“Alright, that’s..”  _ I guess this kind of thing means a lot to him? _ “That’s a good name. And thank you.” He waved me off and stepped off to the side, but not before having some wordless exchange with Vincent.  _ Shit, I forgot you’re here. Sorry. _

“Well, if everyone’s doing it, I might as well join in.” Boon seemed to have recovered from whatever discomfort he felt at his earlier mistake, but that wasn’t saying much since he sorta always seemed like he was uncomfortable. “I’m Andy Sinzel.”

“Ah, well that’s a nice name too.”  _ God that’s so awkward. _ He didn’t seem to mind. “Uh, so I guess with that.. I guess we’re done? This went a lot more smoothly than I was expecting. Maybe Thursday we can talk about this with the others? Or something like that?”

“I’m not sure I’d be the best for that, as you can probably tell. This is in no way my line of expertise.”

“Ah, yeah, I get that.”  _ Probably would be nice to have the leader helping me, but I can live with this as long as- _

“Fuck that,” Rue said, “I’m not coming in the day after a fight.”  _ Great. _

“I can help.”  _ Oh thank fuck. _ “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Thanks, Part- uh. Eddie.”

“Partition when I’m in costume.” He put the mask back on. “Even if only partially.”

“Right.” I rubbed the back of my neck, relieving some tension that had built up. “I guess we’re done, then?” Rue took that as the cue to hop over her chair and leave without saying anything. Boon left without a word, as well, but he was at least respectul about it.

“Sounds good. I’ll be training if you want some more practice timing your swings.” He headed out before I could say much, and I looked around and realized that Vincent had left without me noticing.  _ Wait, should I think of him as Quaver during our on hours? Cape etiquette sucks. _ I thought back on when he might’ve headed off, but I couldn’t place it. Last I remembered, he was here, but I hadn’t been paying much attention.  _ Fuck, I’m such an asshole. _

* * *

“Okay, let’s go over the team composition one last time.” Nearly everyone groaned except for me, and I felt out of place. Sudsmission had given us the rundown twice already, but there were still some things I didn’t have memorized. She wiped down the dry erase board and started writing down our cape names in two boxes. “Group One will be lead by Boon and I, with Specter Shy, Mortar, Jaunt, and Rue joining us. Group Two will be lead by Partition and Flicker, followed by Quaver, Shift, and Marionettist.

“There are two locations that the Mixup Marshals are most likely to attack, and they’re on opposite sides of the city. The distance isn’t ideal, but this is overall fairly convenient, as it gives us access to quick response times to any other spots they could choose to hit. The chances of them diverging from one of these two positions is unlikely, given their history, but it’s always good to keep the possibility in mind. My group will be staking out downtown near the festival, and those in Flicker’s group will be keeping an eye on Boomer’s rave.”

“Mortar,” Flicker interjected, and she attentively looked at him. “You’re in Group One, but if they attack the rave, you will be expected to show up as quickly as possible. Given your usual speeds, it should only take you three minutes at the most. We’ll be inside, so you’ll be a bit more restricted than you usually prefer, but I trust that you can handle it.” She nodded enthusiastically.  _ I don’t think even  _ Quinn  _ would be this excited. _

“And for the groups in general,” Sudsmission continued. “Whichever location is attacked, the other group is to make their way over as quickly as possible. The specific goals until reinforcements arrive differs for the two groups. My group will be aiming to get as many of the Mixup Marshals into one area as possible. If we manage to get them stuck with a few of my bubbles, the fight should be as good as won when Group Two arrives.”

“Mine,” Flicker said, “is just looking to keep them distracted until Sudsmission can contain them. We’ve got enough tricks up our sleeves that we should be able to stop them from escaping,  _ without  _ giving them the opportunity to harm civilians.” He looked at me, but continued to address the whole team. “If you see anyone who isn’t evacuating for whatever reason, help them out when you have a spare moment. Often times they’ll just need a little shove.”

“Not literally,” Rue said.  _ “That _ gets you in trouble.” Flicker gave her a hard look, but she evaded the eye contact.

“Yes, not literally.” Sudsmission seemed far more willing to play along with her.  _ I guess those two have less of a history? Or maybe she also sees this as a joke.  _ I frowned, despite myself.  _ If it’s the latter, I guess it’s a good thing I’m in Flicker’s group.  _ “We’ll be heading out in an hour, so go get yourselves ready. Maybe have something light to eat, but don’t overdo it. The last thing we need is for someone to throw up on the job. Go get ‘em.” All of the Wards dispersed, leaving me as the only one sticking around. Flicker called someone and stepped out of the room once everyone else had left.

“Uh, I still have a couple questions,” I told Sudsmission. “If that’s okay, I mean.”

“Of course, what’s on your mind?”  _ At least she’s nice. _

“Well, I just feel like we didn’t cover the enemies much. Or at least, I don’t remember a lot of it. I don’t know much more than that there’s six of them and that none of them are too much of a threat..? I think one of them can kick things really hard, and another does something with bright lights, but I don’t need to worry about that because of Flicker..?” I sighed. “Sorry, I’m not very good at processing a lot of information at once.”

“It’s no problem, here-” She picked back up the marker and started writing names up on the board again. “They made it needlessly complicated for us heroes in one of their attempts at throwing us off. Their leader is some sort of Thinker, seems to be pretty good at coming up with schemes that  _ almost _ counteract how mediocre his teammates are. The very first attack, they were relying on one gimmick to be enough to do well. They called each other various PRT classifications, but never the ones which actually fit their powers.”

“That’s so stupid.”

“Hey, maybe it’s the reason they got away that day. Who’s to say?” She put the marker down and started going down the list. “Eventually they settled on just one name, to make coordination easier. Master is their leader. He keeps them organized, but has not shown any useful powers for combat purposes. Take him out, and you’ve got a good advantage. Striker is a Blaster who shoots really bright lasers, but they don’t pack much of a physical punch. Even without Flicker, you should be fine if you just don’t stare. Following so far?”

“Yeah. Thank you for this, by the way.”

“Of course.” She smiled, and I felt one creep up on me as well. “Alright, so Breaker is a Stranger who looks like you. Whoever sees them, they look like that person to them. It may not seem like a particularly useful power, but you need to keep in mind that they’re very short. We thought they were a child for a while, but they’re a bit too strong for that. Try to rely on kicks, and take my word when I say you should keep your head down. There’s a bit of a mental block when it comes to hurting a mirror of yourself.”

“I can imagine.”

“Trump is a Tinker who makes small copies of other Tinker tech. She doesn’t seem to have much to work with, so expect a lot of the same. We’re pretty sure she goes through old fight scenes and scavenges whatever discarded tech she can find, so we’ve started sending in teams to get rid of anything we find.” She rolled her wrist around for a second, then continued. “Shaker is just a Brute who can kick things really hard. You weren’t missing anything with your take on her.

“Lastly, we’ve got Changer. You might’ve already figured this out, but he’s a Mover.” I hadn’t. “He moves quickly, but only when he’s touching something that’s alive. We’re not sure if he has a hard speed limit, but anything he could feasibly bring with him is going to burn up past a certain point, so he’s never reached a point that broke any records.” She took a deep breath and mentally checked herself. “Okay, yeah, that’s everyone. Any questions?”

“Um. No, thank you. That was nice.”  _ I think I remember half of it. _

“Any time, it’s what I’m here for. Mostly.” She winked. It wasn’t like Marionettist’s; it was purely playful.  _ It’d be pretty fucking awful if it wasn’t just playful, now that I think about it. _

“Yeah, hah, well.. thank you.” I headed out of the room.  _ This is it, I guess. My first cape fight is just around the corner. _

* * *

_ Jesus fucking shit, I’m so bored. _ We’d been outside in the cold for hours, with the sun setting soon after we set out, and nothing had happened yet. I found myself wondering on a few occasions if the other group had already gotten into the fight, with the enemies bringing some method of blocking communications. Every time the thought entered my mind, though, Flicker and Sudsmission had a status update.

I never would have expected to describe the build up to a cape fight as  _ monotonous, _ but there I was. We’d talked a little, but most of the time was spent staying frustratingly silent and alert. I wasn’t allowed to drift off, no matter how much I wanted to take a nap, because people might end up needing me. None of it was helped by the fact that we couldn’t go into Boomer’s place ahead of time. I knew  _ why _ we couldn’t, but that didn’t make the whole thing any easier.

_ You’d think we would’ve waited at least until the rave had started, but I guess that makes too much sense? Who cares if the festival starts earlier? Wouldn’t it have been logical to have us hang out over  _ there _ until the rave began?  _ I sighed, and began to let my attention slip before I spotted a group of six individuals heading for the building. None of them seemed to be in costume, but they might have been hiding them under the hoodies.

“Uh, hey,” I said into the comms. “Might have something. Six people, walking towards- okay, now going into the building. They don’t look like they’re here to party.”

“Okay,” Flicker responded. “Everyone, if you’re not in position, get moving. Shift, you know what to do. I’ll give Suds the heads up.”

_ Right. _ I switched off my comm and hopped down from the building without any hesitation, shifting a second before hitting the ground to kill the momentum of the fall, then ran across the street. I left the blue and pushed the front door open, sneaking forward and around the corner. I peeked down the stairs and saw the group talking to a bouncer. A few seconds later, I shifted again and ran down to get a better look at them.

I analyzed their lines, trying my best to see if my first impression was right. Only one of them was wearing anything that confirmed my suspicions, but it was pretty damning.  _ Why would you have your mask on if you’re trying to sneak in? _ I couldn’t tell which of the Mixup Marshals it was, but it was enough. I ran back up to the front door and shifted out, went outside so I wouldn’t be heard, and turned back on my communicator.

“It’s them,” I reported.

“Alright, move in. Keep your head down and be ready to go on my say so.”  _ Okay, let’s go through this one last time. Take out the leader if I can, but mostly just focus on keeping them distracted. Help out civilians. Okay. Okay. This is it. _

“Going offline.” I turned my comm back off and went inside again. I’d forgotten to tell anyone about the feedback given off by phones and things of that sort when I used my power until we were checking to make sure everything was in order, so we hadn’t had the time to see if there was a workaround.  _ It shouldn’t matter much for this fight, given how small of an area we’re working with. _

I stepped forward and peered around the side again, moving out into the open when I saw the bouncer was missing.  _ Shit, that’s probably not great.  _ I went down the stairs, trying to ignore the music as it got louder.  _ Okay, Boomer’s got some pretty garbage taste. Good to know. I guess I won’t be inviting him to my birthday party.  _ The door was closed, so all I had to do was wait until I heard danger sounds.  _ Or I guess I could’ve left my comm on until we started fighting? Whatever, too awkward to do it now. Something to keep in mind for next time. _

Not much time passed before people started screaming. I burst through the door and attempted to take in the scene, but civilians ran past me with enough force that I nearly got knocked over. The whole place must have been soundproofed, because the audio assault added to the overstimulation. I stood my ground, pushing forward once the crowd was mostly dissipated to find that none of my team had shown themselves yet.  _ Shit. _

A man in a black cowboy outfit said something I couldn’t make out over the music and pointed at me. Within the space of a heartbeat, the one in white threw something towards me.  _ Master and Trump. _ I prepared myself to shift out of the way, but the object curved to the side at the last second. It hit a wall and stuck to it, then began emitting a high pitched wail. Before I could move to do anything, Marionettist appeared out of nowhere and kicked the machine until it shut up.

“Came in early, Shift,” Flicker said. He was concealed by light, invisible in the folds of his surroundings. “Marionettist, lock them down.”

“On it!” He promptly looked over at the villains and held his arms out to the side in a T shape, and they followed along. I watched for a bit longer than I should have before I ran forward to help.

I didn’t get far before the yellow one - Changer - ran over, weaving through people to keep up his speed. He lowered himself and slid with his leg out, but I shifted in before he could trip me. I lined myself up with his torso and timed a kick to his chest. His head slammed into the ground and he flew past me, stopping only when he hit the wall. He wasn’t moving.  _ Shit, is he unconscious? _

There was no time for me to ponder the question further. The Brute, Shaker, was coming at me. She’d seemingly mastered a technique where she kicked her heels into the ground to travel faster, and regained enough control of her arms to toss some of Trump’s tech between my legs. It grew its own legs and started crawling, so I shifted in to take stock of my options. _If I stop the tech from reaching the guy, I open myself up for her to attack._ _Hopefully Flicker’s got it handled._

I exited the blue and pulled out my baton, swinging for her head. She dodged and stomped forward, forcing me to step back. I jumped behind her and kicked her in the back. She stumbled forward, but dug her heels into the ground and jumped back at me. We both tumbled to the ground, but she ended up on top. She lifted herself up a bit to build some momentum, then slammed her feet down and flipped into a standing position over me.

It wasn’t until she’d nearly smashed her foot into my head before I remembered to shift.  _ Fuck. _ I rolled over and pushed myself up, and saw that Partition was running over.  _ He’s  _ definitely _ better suited for this one. _ I turned around to see that Changer was getting up. The spidery tech had latched onto his chest.  _ Boon’s work. _ I ran over and smacked him with my baton. He reacted faster than I was expecting, grabbing my arm and flinging me into the wall at top speed.

Before I could do anything reckless - and I was  _ far _ too dazed for a plan - he began dragging me towards the rest of his team.  _ Do something, do something, now now now now! _ I brought him into the blue with me. He stopped in his tracks and groaned, grabbing his head with his free hand. Instead of dropping me like I’d hoped, he tightened his grip. I’d managed to keep hold of my baton, so I used it to hit him the instant we went back to reality. He finally let go, but the damage had been done.

I saw the green one pointing her arm at me, and then there was nothing but white.  _ Striker, fuck. _ My eyes were now burning, and I hadn’t even had the chance to recover from the near-concussion. I covered them with my hands to stop her from making it any worse, but the blaring music was making a nauseating cocktail with the pain.

“Heads up!” Quaver’s voice was accompanied by a shifting in the ground. I soon found myself leaning against a newly formed wall, rather than laying on the floor.  _ Thank you. _ I blinked my eyes open and could barely make out the image of Changer holding his hands high above his head. He fumbled around for a moment, then settled on kicking the dog while I was downed. I didn’t shift in time, but it didn’t matter. His leg curved at the last second, making him smash his foot into the wood.

“Shift, you okay-?” Flicker got cut off by an explosion of sound and splintering wood. The realization that my leg had been impaled by the spray came a second later. As much as I wanted to wait for the pain to die down a bit, I shifted.

I groaned and pushed myself up to a point where I was more or less standing.  _ This fucking sucks. _ I took in my surroundings as best as I could, but my sight was still a little impaired. Flicker and Changer had been hit by far more of the splinters, but the stolen Boon tech was surely giving the enemy an advantage at dealing with it. That said, it was still sort of a two against one. Partition and the Brute were still keeping each other busy, so I didn’t feel much of a need to help out there either.

_ Quaver, then. _ I walked around the wall and took in the reality of him taking on four of them by himself. He seemed to be having an alright time, but some support was sure to be appreciated.  _ Take the leader out and we’ve got a good advantage. _ I tightened the grip on my baton and slammed it into the Thinker. He retaliated a little too quickly for someone who should’ve been blindsided, but I managed to block him.

I couldn’t avoid the strike to my side, though. The Stranger had decided to focus me. I lifted my arm up to block a second incoming punch, but took a blow to my stomach.  _ Fuck, aim low.  _ The Thinker backed away as I turned my attention to fighting his teammate until my power was back up.  _ Come on, come on! _ Right when I’d gotten into some sort of rhythm, it was disrupted by a sudden numbness in my right arm.  _ Now, now, now, now-! _ I shifted in a moment before I would’ve been hit by an attack I couldn’t block.

My arm drooped when I tried to lift it. I moved over to the Thinker and saw that he was holding a small gun.  _ God damn it, Forge tech. _ I prepared to knock it out of his hand, but-  _ Fuck, he made me drop my baton. _ I’d have to make do.

I pulled back my working arm and got ready to throw my first ever punch with my off hand. It ended up being more of a chop, but I nearly got him to drop the gun. To my dismay, he kept a firm grasp on it. We entered a bout of awkward struggling, but it got cut short by the Stranger pushing me to the ground. The gun came with me.

The three of us raced to be the first to get a hold of it, but there was hardly any chance of me losing. I shuffled it around in my hand and took a shot- but the trigger jammed and blinked red. _ Locked to his fingerprint. _ The Stranger stomped down on my hand, knocking the gun away in the process. Any yell that came out of my mouth was drowned out by Quaver shouting.

Three rifts tore through the ground before I could blink. The first curved out of my line of sight. The noise of the music was cut in half, but a few gasps forced me to remember that there were civilians here. The second passed through the makeshift wall. The last, slightly delayed from the rest, carved directly through me.  _ Not me, not- _ I was face to face with the shuttered image of the Stranger. For the first time, I really took in the fact that I’d been fighting my mirror. For the first time, I saw  _ Shift _ as  _ me. _

I hopped into the blue and looked anywhere but the living nightmare. _Partition and Shaker - fine._ _Civilians?_ I stopped myself from wasting time seeing if any of them had been caught in the effect. _They’ll live._ _Quaver - seems like he’s handling those two alright. Flicker._ I peered through the hole in the wall to see that the rift had trailed directly beneath him. His foot was stuck. Even with the situation he was in, the Mover wasn’t going to be doing much any time soon. _Thanks, Marion._

_ Aha!  _ I’d found my way to contribute. I quickly moved on over to Master -  _ don’t look don’t look don’t look _ . I lifted my arm up in front of me, got a running start, and let the world start moving again. The Thinker could do nothing to stop me from shoving him backwards and into the wall.  _ Into the puppetmaster’s lair. _

Despite the direct line of sight, Marionettist wasn’t taking action.  _ What are you waiting for?  _ I struggled to lock the man down for as long as I could, but he was stronger and had more experience.  _ Come the fuck on! _

Then it hit me. Us, it seemed, but-  _ Please. _ My numbed arm flew up without any resistance, and my off arm followed soon after.  _ Please. _ I came inches from vomiting onto the man in front of me.  _ Please. _

As quickly as it came, it was gone. My relief was short lived as Master took the opportunity to grab me and slam me into the wall, covering the hole. My power screamed at me to pull us in, to gain an advantage, but I did nothing. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t..  _ Please. _

My prayers were answered as Mortar burst into the room. She took no time at all to examine the situation, dashing from wall to wall. The world in front of me shuttered to the left a foot or so as Flicker dropped his illusions. Mortar immediately dashed towards us and collided into Changer. The two of them came crashing through the wall a couple feet away from me, and the force was enough to knock my assailant and I back. The Mover had been thoroughly knocked out.

I took a deep breath and entered the blue. The Stranger had reverted back to a mostly normal state, but seemed to have not yet fully recovered. The best course of action was easy enough to determine. I took another running start and shoved Master into his teammate. The two collapsed on the ground, while I managed to stay standing.  _ Four dealt with, just the Blaster and Tinker. _

Just when things seemed to finally be turning out alright for us, a switch was flipped. Static turned the air harsh. Quaver’s changes began crawling back to nothingness, rifts sealed, the wall flattened. Dozens of little changes were undone in a matter of seconds. I could barely hear my own thoughts over the sound of Flicker’s screaming as his foot got crushed.

_ Conciliator.  _ The mythical power breaking Tinker was real.


	6. Shift 2.5 R

“Here’s the craziest part,” Quinn continued. “Nobody even knows if this guy is real. Barely anyone has even  _ heard _ of him. It’s kind of incredible that I even know about him, and you get to know about him too!” She grimaced for a second before continuing at a lower volume. “Her, maybe? Everyone’s assuming it’s a guy, but who knows?”

If I’d been any less uncomfortable, I would have told her to shut up. Her parents were screaming at each other in the other room, and yet there she was, ranting about some stupid cape. Not just  _ any  _ stupid cape, though. No, the topic of the day might not have even been  _ real!  _ My shoulders could have reasonably been used to carve stone with how tense they were.

I tried to ignore Quinn for a bit, instead focusing on the fight outside. I couldn’t make out all of the words, but I understood the meaning behind them. A mother desperately trying to see her daughter at any cost. A father doing his best to protect his daughter from his strung out ex-wife.  _ Maybe that’s giving him too much credit. _ A father spiting the woman who got sick of his shit after promising to stay with him through thick and thin.  _ Like he’s even one to talk about being a bad parent. Fuck him. _ I tuned back into the rant.

“..I bet if he’s real, we’ll get to meet him when we become capes.”  _ Always with this.  _ Most of the time I could deal with how she was, but tonight was different.  _ How can she just  _ do _ this right now? Is she not at all fucked up over this? _ “Assuming he’s still alive by then. Who knows when we’ll get our powers, you know? One could hope for some time soon, but obviously that’s not likely.

“I’ve seen some interesting theories as to why people don’t tend to get their powers until later in life, and why that seems to be less of a thing with second generation capes. I think the most interesting is that it’s kind of a roll of the dice every moment of every day. You could get lucky and get your powers super early, like in the womb, but that’s a statistical anomaly to such an extreme degree that I doubt it’ll ever happen with a first generation cape. But the theory goes that second generation capes have a second dice roll, if you will. Double the chances. That’s only accounting for cape on cape-”

I couldn’t focus on her any more, and her parents didn’t seem like the best option.  _ Myself, then. What can I listen to my dumbass brain say today? What’s screaming at me from the abyss? Self hatred? Fear of dying?  _ Other  _ people’s hatred?  _ Nothing screamed at me, to my surprise.  _ Fine, then.. what? What’s in store? _

I pictured, for a moment, what Quinn had always dreamed of. A possible future, an idea. Me as a cape. Fighting. I’d never really understood Quinn’s obsession - it always seemed like a lot of work. Dangerous to such a degree that I could hardly see an upside to it. Now, though, I got it. Probably not as much as she did, and definitely without as much enthusiasm, but I saw the appeal.

There I sat, in my mind’s eye, bleeding on the floor. Pained, miserable, and somewhat horrified.. but I was a hero. There were people I was keeping safe, friends I was protecting. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever stand again. Logically, of course, there was no question of it. Inside, though? It felt like an unconquerable obstacle. I looked so defeated, so hopeless. Something I could never have imagined when I was thirteen. Something I never  _ did _ imagine.

_ This isn’t how the memory goes. _

Above anything else, I wished that I’d been paying more attention to Quinn’s words at the time. Fitting, it seemed, that I’d barely been able to focus on the memory due to another adult’s screaming.

I offered no resistance as the Blaster blinded Marionettist. Flicker wasn’t in the right space to prevent it. I did nothing as the Tinker knocked Quaver out. I stayed still as she tossed more of Boon’s tech onto the Mover. Maybe I could have stopped any of the three things, or maybe even all of them, but I didn’t do shit.  _ I’m not a hero. _

I shifted over to the wounded Protectorate member. Words came out of my mouth that he probably couldn’t hear. His foot was too damaged for me to do anything, but I had to try.  _ Please, let me find a way to help you instead. I’m not cut out for fighting, I’m not- _ A kick to my head sent me crashing into the ground. Even self loathing was something I couldn’t do in peace.

With such a huge advantage, and the impending threat of more heroes, the Marshals decided to bolt. They’d apparently gotten what they came for.  _ We’re fucked. _ I watched them run off while Partition did nothing to stop them. At least in his case he was busy doing something else. What was I doing? Why wasn’t I getting up?

Mortar crashed into two of them - the Thinker and Stranger - and pinned them down. The rest left them behind without a second of hesitation.

“Marry!” She called out. Marionettist took a moment to respond, blinking a few times. He took control of the villains as soon as he was able and forced them to hold their hands behind their backs. Mortar locked them down with a zip tie and rushed off.

_ Fuck, I need.. _ I shifted and got up off the ground.  _ I need to do something. _ I ran outside and looked around, keeping up my momentum. Mortar was headed to the left, so I followed her even before spotting the others. The three remaining Marshals were getting into a van a couple blocks away.  _ I can’t take on the three of them myself. Mortar might even get fucked over if I’m in the way, so-  _ I shifted out when I was halfway to the van to give her the room she needed.  _ Also lets me back into the blue sooner. _

The Tinker yelled something incomprehensible. They sped off before I could reach them.  _ Why isn’t she crashing into- damn it, Quaver, of course! _ I was clearly still out of it. Thoughts weren’t connecting how they should have. If I’d been more focused, I could have gotten him out of their grasp.  _ Fuck! Stop being so useless! _

I shifted in the moment I was able, recovering as much of the distance between myself and the van as I could, then shifted out. There was a rhythm to it.  _ If I can find some way to do this during a fight, maybe I’ll be less of a worthless piece of shit. _

Despite my technique, the van was very steadily leaving my line of sight.  _ I could go all the way up to them one last time, but then what? Do I just punch the door once and then stand around like a useless shit while my power recharges? Why did I get stuck as the most useless Mover?  _ Memories of one of my few chats with Jaunt flashed in my mind.  _ Time limits are fucking awful. _

I very nearly stopped running altogether. The next opportunity to shift would be arriving any moment, but I had no idea what to do with it.  _ Just let me stop. _

The PRT van rode past me that moment, as if with the express purpose of turning the idea of me giving up into road kill. Rue waved at me out of one of the doors. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize she was requesting I join them and not mocking me.

I entered the blue and walked over. It was nice to be able to stop rushing for a moment. My body still ached in ways that I hadn’t known to be possible a few hours prior, but at least I wasn’t running. I crawled into the van, squeezing past Rue. They’d left a seat open for me.  _ This is gonna feel like shit, huh? _

The padding of the seat was clearly never intended to ease an instant acceleration from fifteen miles per hour to whatever ungodly speed I was now moving at. Some of my bones had surely just snapped. Surprisingly, though, none of it hurt.  _ Shock? _

“Holy shit!” Someone slammed the door shut.  _ Rue? _ “That was fucking awesome.” It was definitely Rue.

“How are you feeling?” This voice was less familiar. A boy.  _ Boon? Jaunt? _

“Mmgoog..” I mumbled.  _ What? _ I couldn’t feel my mouth. Or anything.

“Holy shit, you’re really jacked up,” Rue said. “I’ve got to bug Boon for some of that shit later.”

“You should clear up in a few moments.” The boy, again.  _ Not Boon. Jaunt, then. _

“..kyah..”  _ Okay, shut up. _ A girl laughed.

Then, like it was nothing, everything snapped into place. Euphoria hit me and the world became real. The closest comparison I could make was to the blue; a clarity that you’d only question because of how  _ much _ everything there was. In the van with me was Rue, Jaunt, Sudsmission, and - I checked the empty seat - Specter Shy. Someone was driving, but I couldn’t tell if I knew them.

“Hey tough gal,” Rue said. For a brief moment, it seemed weird to see the words sync up with her mouth. “Welcome back from the clouds.”

“You’ve done great work,” Sudsmission said. “Boon’s taking care of the rest of your team. He left something for you, but I don’t think he expected you to use that much of it.” I looked down and spotted a spidery robot attached to my chest.  _ Oh.  _ It was larger than the one the Mover was wearing, and it had a meter on it that was nearly empty.  _ Medicine, I guess? _ I’d not yet asked how his tech worked, but I left a mental note to myself to talk to him about it later.

“This..” I held my hand out in front of me, watching it move. A second later, I dropped it into my lap. “Sorry, I probably look like a crackhead.”

“Don’t worry about it, you deserve a little high after catching three of those losers.” As much as she unsettled me, Rue certainly had a twisted kindness to her.

“We’re chasing the last of them with the help of Mortar,” Sudsmission informed me. “It’s good that they chose here instead of the festival, there’s not as many kids running around this side of town. I don’t think they’re the type to murder children, but tonight’s had a lot of surprises.”

“Oh? Wait, then-” I got cut off, briefly, by the detachment of the spider. It crawled down onto my lap and sat next to my hands, retracting its legs.  _ Okay that’s kinda cute.  _ “Um, right, so.. This isn’t normal for them?”

“Absolutely not. We only had this be your first fight because we thought they would keep up the same act as always. Never, in the year they’ve been around, have they done something like  _ this.  _ Even the way they’re fighting has been surprisingly cruel for them.”

“So this isn’t..” I blinked a few times and looked out the window. A few blocks’ worth of houses moved past us. “Sorry, I just.. I’ll be honest, I was thinking of leaving the Wards after tonight. Not consciously, just kinda passive thoughts. I thought like.. you said so much about how this would be an easy fight, how they’re harmless.. I mean, okay, a lot of that was my friend but.. This isn’t harmless, then?”

“Not in the slightest,” Jaunt growled. “Their vile behavior tonight is incredibly uncharacteristic. I would be lying if I pretended this was extreme for most groups, but this is absolutely not a casual cape fight. For what it’s worth, I would not have let you come to such a conclusion. I know that doesn’t amount to much, but it’s something that should be said.”

“Edgelord,” Rue teased.

“Stop, you two-” Sudsmission paused and held her hand to her ear. “Got it.” She turned to me. “Shift, can your power work on the car?” I shook my head. “Alright. We should be catching up with them in a minute, then. Finish up your chat.”

“Ah, well..” I said. “I guess I said most of what I wanted to say. And I’m sorry to get all mushy about this. I just really thought I would have to give up after this. If this was the easy stuff, I..” I sighed. “Anyways, uh, yeah. Let’s catch some guys.” There was some expectation, on my part, for a bit of a camaraderie-fueled cheering. Everyone seemed too focused for that.  _ Fuck, that was so stupid. Shut the fuck up always, please. _

The uncomfortable silence ended soon enough. Out the front window, I could make out the Marshals’ van. Every half-second or so the Blaster shot up into the sky. She stopped after a few moments of us tailing her. If she’d hit Mortar before we arrived, they would have won on the spot. Now, though, that wasn’t an option. Even with a freshly cleared mind, I couldn’t think of any way for them to get out of this.

I felt pretty fucking stupid as the Mover jumped out of the van and ran off with Quaver in a flash of white. 

“Mortar, follow them!” Sudsmission commanded into her comm. She zipped off after them. We kept following the van.  _ Of course we’re not fast enough to help him. Can’t do shit to help with my power now. Fuck me, I probably could’ve stopped them if I’d reacted sooner. Even with Boon’s tech bringing me to peak performance, I’m fucking nothing. _ When our leader spoke again, she might as well have been reading my thoughts. “Damn it, we should have intervened sooner.”

“We couldn’t have,” Jaunt said. “Focus on now. We’ve got two of them cornered.”

“We  _ could _ have.” She looked close to tearing his face off before she calmed herself.  _ Aren’t you supposed to be the adult..? _ “You’re right, though. He’s sure to hand Quaver back to us when we have his entire team as a bargaining chip.” Jaunt gave a smug smile. “So we take them out. If we can get close enough, Jaunt can block their path. Shift, you can hop out and take him with you.”

“I can’t, unless we slow down a lot. The sudden change in speed would probably kill both of us.”

“You, maybe,” Jaunt said. “I’m fairly certain I could power up fast enough to tank the hit.”

_ “Regardless,” _ Sudsmission chided, “it’s not an option.” She sighed.  _ Seriously, in what situation is that part of my power ever going to be anything but a downside? Couldn’t I have gotten something a little less stupid? It seems like every new development makes my abilities less and less appealing. Even fucking  _ rain _ ruins my potential. _

“I have an idea.” It was the first time Shy had spoken since I’d arrived. Her confidence didn’t seem to match the relief I felt. “From my understanding - and I may be mistaken - you should be able to bring Jaunt in with you right as his transformation begins. Then, you can stay in the van and he can go over to block the Marshals.”

“Oh fuck, Shy, that’s genius!” Rue grinned at her and then looked to me expectantly. “How about it, girl, would that work?”

“Uh, shit, probably?” I smiled back at her awkwardly. “Yes. It should work.”

“Good thinking Specter Shy,” Sudsmission said. “We’re going to give that a shot. Jaunt, what’s the slowest you can transform?”

“I’ll stop you there. The safest option for everyone is for me to hang out the side. It’s not something I  _ want _ to do, but so long as Shift is reliable, it should be fine.” He gave me an accusatory look.  _ Or am I reading too much into it? _

“Uh, yeah, I should-” I stuttered. “It, uh..”

“She’s hardcore reliable,” Rue said.  _ Why are you so confusing? You’re so.. nice..? But also.. guh. _

“Good enough for me. Let’s-” The van lurched. I very nearly crashed into Rue from the force. We came to a stop, and I collapsed into my seat.  _ Ah fuck, and I was just starting to feel better. _ I retched a little, but kept myself in check.

“What happened-?” Sudsmission shouted to the front, before cutting herself off. I blinked my eyes open and looked for myself. The Marshals had stopped as abruptly as we’d been forced to. After a few tense moments, the Blaster came out from the driver’s seat with her hands up. “Shift!” Sudsmission tossed me a pair of fancy handcuffs and started to leave the van. I placed a hand on the door and transitioned in.

I pushed the door open and ran over to the woman. Now that I’d gotten another good look at her, I could tell she was the one who’d been wearing the mask with her hoodie on.  _ Is this not a trick? Are you seriously just surrendering right now? _ Rather than just trust that and shift out to detain her, I decided to check on her Tinker friend.  _ Maybe Suds has my back, but I’m not taking any chances. _

_ Oh.  _ Without the distraction of movement or colour bias, it was very obvious that Quaver was the one in the back seat, not the Tinker.  _ Unless they swapped clothes..? _ It was a possibility, but one I doubted. They had no way of knowing I’d be able to look in the back ahead of time, so pretending to be unconscious would have been stupid. No, this was very definitely Quaver.  _ Then Mortar’s chasing after the Tinker as well.  _ I got into position and shifted out to put the cuffs on the Blaster.

“Wh- Hey hey hey, I’m giving up!” She had a bit of a valley girl twang to her voice that clashed with the theme of her costume. After a moment, she realized I wasn’t attacking her. “Oh.” Sudsmission approached the car, ready to pounce. “Hey, whoa whoa, don’t! The kid’s in there!” She continued, so I stepped in.

“She’s not lying.” Striker loosened herself a moment later, opening the back door with far less caution. “I checked beforehand, it’s Quaver.”

“Explain.” Her eyes bored hatred into the Blaster.

“Actually,” I squeaked, “I think I can do that too.”  _ Just like Rue, I’m glad she’s not my enemy. _ “Mortar is chasing after, uh” - I tapped my side - “Changer and  _ Trump.  _ She and Quaver both have white costumes, so if they moved fast enough we wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. They went  _ too _ fast, though. We couldn’t chase after them in the van. They just left..  _ Striker _ here behind. They left the other three behind, too.”

“It was  _ supposed _ to not matter,” she whined. “I didn’t even want to do this job! When I saw they weren’t coming back.. of course I’m gonna give you the kid back. I didn’t want any of this-”

“Uh,” I cut her off, “real quick, it’s important. Where’s Mortar at right now?” Sudsmission held up her finger, turned away, and asked the same question into her comm. “Uh, and Shy? Where are you?”

“Here.” I looked over at her and she popped into existence. She seemed.. dissatisfied? I began to speak again before Sudsmission got back to me.

“Mortar and the Marshals are back near the festival.”

“Great, thank you!” I jogged over and grabbed Shy, shutting off her comms. I brought us both in before she could protest.

“Ow- ow!” She tore herself away from me and held her head. “Guh, what’s wrong with you? Jesus!” She groaned and grit her teeth.

“Sorry, sorry. Just breathe, it levels out after-”

“I know, just let me out!” I winced at the volume of her screaming.

“I can’t.” I forced myself to stay calm, so as not to overwhelm her even more. “We need to help Mortar, and I need you to do that.” She kept her eyes clenched shut and continued to groan. “Look, your power disruption should throw Changer off for long enough that Mortar can safely take them both out.”

“Fine.” She tested the waters a bit, opening her eyes into a squint. “I hate this place. I said I didn’t want to come back here after the last time.”

“I know. We don’t have a choice, though. It’ll be alright, okay? I promise it gets easier.”

“Whatever.” She frowned and looked away from me. “Fine, yeah. Let’s just hurry up and get this over with.” She started walking.  _ Is that the right way? I guess she’d know better. _ I followed after her.

We went along in silence for a while. She seemed to have adjusted after a short while, but her temper didn’t change.  _ Are you just mad because of how sudden it was? We didn’t have much time, I.. I should’ve asked, anyways. Even just a nod, or.. Fuck, I’m awful at this. But, okay, no! Even ignoring that, you’ve been really weird around me all day. What’s going on? What did I do? You were so nice.. How did I fuck this up? _

The further along we went, the clearer it became that we were headed in the right direction. I was far more familiar with the downtown area than the southern parts of Remure. Even then it was a bit of a maze, so the fact that Shy was handling it so well despite being so unused to moving around in my power was pretty impressive. The cooler she seemed, though, the worse I felt about getting on her bad side.

“What did I do?” She jumped at the sound of my voice. How long had it been since we’d last said anything? “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” she sighed. “I’m just not used to people following me. It’s normally too much of a hassle, but I guess that’s not an issue here.”

“Ah, yeah.”  _ Huh, I hadn’t even thought about how I can see her out of the corner of my eye when we’re in here. Probably just because I was looking, right? I can’t believe I didn’t pick that up sooner.  _ I realized I’d only been able to let my thoughts drift to that because we’d gone silent again. “Shy.”

“Mm? Right.” She put her hands in her pockets. “I don’t know, it’s nothing you did.”

“Clearly it has to be, I mean.. I thought we got along really well before..?” The question hung in the air for a moment.

“Look, Shift, I.. I wasn’t even supposed to be there.” She sighed again. “I know your thing. Your secret.” If my body were capable of it, I would be struggling to breathe. Fuck, I  _ felt _ like I was choking, despite that being a literal impossibility. “I wish I hadn’t heard it, I was just walking by..” She paused for a moment, scrunching up her face. “Quaver spotted me. I ran off, but it was too late. He told me to talk to you, but I don’t know. I was just going to wait.”

“I..” There were so many things I wanted to say. After I realized most of it wouldn’t come out of my mouth, I settled for something that would push the conversation along. “So you.. hate me now..?”

“No, no. Of course not.” I felt kinda nice hearing the guilt in her voice. Then I just felt dirty. “Look, I’m not going to pretend I get it. I.. honestly, it kinda grosses me out to think about.”  _ Ow. _ “But I don’t want to make you my enemy. I’m kind of more hurt that you didn’t tell me sooner, I guess? That you trust  _ Rue  _ before  _ me.” _

“Ah, no.. It’s not like that, I swear.”  _ Fuck, why did she have to listen in at the worst possible time?  _ “I just thought she’d be good about it because she’s like.. bi and stuff.”

“I guess.” She didn’t sound particularly satisfied.  _ What else am I supposed to say? _ “I don’t want you talking with Marion.”

“..What?”

“I mean, I know you’re into him too. I was willing to be nice about it, but.. I don’t want you getting him involved in this stuff.”

“I’m not- I don’t.”  _ Why do you think I do? _ “I’m not into him. He’s got a crush on me,  _ maybe, _ but I’m not even sure about that.”

“Mm,” she sulked.

“Even if I did, I don’t think it’s fair for you to..”  _ Don’t make things worse.  _ “I don’t know, nevermind.”

“Look, I just don’t want you messing with him. He’s got a lot he’s going through, and.. Really, I don’t want to be rude, but he doesn’t need someone like you.”  _ A freak. _ “I think you’re cool, and I wish you the best of luck with figuring yourself out, but I can’t let you put the team in danger. Whether that’s in terms of fighting or.. mental stuff.”

“I’m going to be telling the rest of the team soon, anyways. I was thinking after we get back, but with Quaver.. with how things have gone, I might delay it until tomorrow. So, I guess if.. I guess Marionettist can decide for himself how he feels about me. Okay?”

She didn’t say anything. We walked along in silence for what felt like hours. I’d nearly forgotten we were even headed towards the Marshals when we finally reached them. It was so easy to get lost in here. To lose  _ yourself _ as you wandered around. It was a kind of comfort I hadn’t found anywhere else.  _ One I won’t be able to properly experience for hours after this. Time limits are awful. _

We got in position, exchanging as few words as we possibly could. She stood a few feet ahead of where the Mover was going, and to the left a little.  _ No point in any of this if he spots her. _ I waited a bit further back. There wasn’t much I could do, so I didn’t see much point in putting myself in danger.  _ I guess that means I’m fine with putting her in danger?  _ I chose not to think about that.

“Ready?”

“Yeah.” Maybe I should have gone directly on her mark, but I waited. Another breath to prepare us, perhaps. _Not like it matters._ _Either this works or it doesn’t. Nothing we can really do, so.. Here goes nothing._

The world came into motion. The Mover faltered for a moment. Whether he nearly tripped as a result of Shy’s power disruption, or because he’d spotted her and had been taken off guard, I couldn’t say. It didn’t matter. He slid along the road. Mortar reacted quickly and took the opportunity to slam down. She missed, barely, and almost hit Shy. The Mover used a wall to steady himself out, then dashed off. Mortar jumped after him, but fell flat on her face.

“No! What the hell?” she growled.

“Sorry..” Mortar jumped back and looked around for Shy. After spotting her, she kicked a rock in the direction of the Marshals.

“I  _ had _ that!” She stomped on the ground in frustration. If she didn’t have superpowers, it would’ve been nothing more than a fairly pathetic tantrum. “What the fuck, Shy? No heads up? How did you even-”

“It was me.” I moved closer to the two of them. My voice had come out softer than I’d intended. It was easy to get too used to talking quietly when I was in the blue for a while. Everything in the real world had such heavy friction to it. I had to use  _ force _ to speak, or move around, or anything else. “I didn’t think to fill you in until we’d already shifted in, and.. yeah, sorry.”

“Well you should’ve thought!” Mortar crossed her arms and avoided looking at us. “Whatever.”

“Look, we didn’t have a lot of time.” She didn’t respond. Shy seemed like she wanted to run away.  _ You probably could if you wanted. Why are you still here? You almost just got- _ “Oh, and hey, you haven’t even apologized for almost crashing into Shy.”

“What?” Mortar turned back to me as she yelled. She stomped over. “It’s not my fault that you decided to ruin everything.  _ You’re _ the one who put her in danger, don’t put that on me!”

“I..”  _ Fuck, she’s right. What the fuck is wrong with me? All of this is my fault, I..  _ “You’re right, I’m sorry.” She huffed and scrunched up her face. “And.. you too, Shy. I’m sorry, I-” I looked over where she’d been, but..  _ Ah. She  _ did _ run away. She’s.. Fuck. And we didn’t even get the Marshals, I.. Mortar probably would’ve.. I’m.. _

I wanted to say something to Mortar, but there was nothing. When she realized I wasn’t going to stop being a failure, she left me too. My power wouldn’t be up for hours. I knew I should have turned my comm back on. I should have gotten picked up and brought back to the base, but I couldn’t.  _ Home’s probably only an hour or so away, right? _

My wandering eventually brought me to familiar territory.  _ I feel like I’ve gone back and forth on the idea of quitting a dozen times today. Why can’t I make up my mind? Why can’t I have gotten a better fucking power? Am I just too stupid to understand how to make this work? Probably, I just  _ stumbled _ into the first real tactic I’ve come up with. It’s not even like I can take credit for it, it just happened. Out of my control. I’m fucking awful. _

_ And speaking of that shit, what the fuck was all of that shit with Shy? Why did I do that? Why didn’t I just fucking ask? Or, or the shit with Mortar! It’s not like taking a few seconds to fill people in would’ve impacted the plan at all! Was I really too fucking selfish to not be willing to spend the extra minute or two of extra walking time? And blaming her for.. ugh! What the fuck is wrong with me? _

I reached my driveway and dragged my feet along the gravel.  _ I can’t wait to waste hours of Quinn’s time on this shit. All because I’m too much of a selfish, stupid, whiny piece of shit. _ I put a hand on my window before remembering that I wouldn’t be able to shift for hours.  _ Forgetful little bitch, fuck you. _ A small bucket of candy was on the front porch, with a little sign asking people to take two. It was mostly full. I took five and went inside.

Dad wouldn’t be home until much later, and Mom..  _ My fault, too. _ I shuffled over to my room. I began to talk before realizing that  _ no one _ was home. There were a few minutes, as I undressed, where I considered asking Quinn about her whereabouts. I stared at my naked body in the mirror and decided she would be better off without me, wherever she was.


	7. Shift Interlude - Radar

“I’m Cheshire, and this is Lady, we-”  _ True. _ Why had she stopped? Radar shifted his attention to the purple girl. She swallowed and tensed up for a moment. When she spoke again, there was newfound aggression behind her words. “We’re newer capes, heroes.”  _ True, somewhat. ‘We’ is inapplicable. Unlikely that one is a villain where the other is not. One of them is powerless, or a Rogue. _ “We were out patrolling the city when we came across this man in the midst of a suicide attempt.”  _ True. _ “We managed to stop him, and were handling the followup very well, but then you showed up and slowed things down a bit.”  _ True, from her perspective. _

“Mm.” Radar leaned his head forward a little bit and squinted at her. The girl tensed even further, but not as much as he would have liked. About as much as was expected, unfortunately.  _ She knows. Who doesn't, at this point? _ He pressed further. “I’ve never heard of you because you’re from out of town, then?”

“We’re  _ very  _ new.”  _ True. _ “We decided to get some practice testing out Lady’s powers in a more open field.”  _ True. Then Lady is the cape, not you? Interesting. _

“Shift,” Lady interrupted. Radar turned his head in her direction for show, but sensed ahead of time that she’d begun cowering as soon as the words left her mouth. He experienced a brief moment of elation at the acknowledgement of his status, and then an even briefer moment of guilt. “Lady was an experiment. I’m Shift.”  _ True..? Technically correct, but not something she’s internalized. _

_ “Shift’s  _ powers,” Cheshire corrected herself.  _ She’s accepted this truth more than her friend. _ “We ran into this man and knew we had to do something to help.”  _ The ‘had to’ is only a half truth. Perhaps my earlier evaluation of her hero status was wrong? She certainly doesn’t view this man’s safety as her responsibility.  _ “We have intentions to join the Wards, but we wanted to sort things out first. Better to apply once everything is fully understood, right?”  _ Once again, her use of ‘we’ is fraudulent. She needs a push. _

Radar shut down his truth sense. Cheshire let out a sigh of relief. _Mm? She felt that? She’s likely a Stranger, based on the name, but perhaps also a Thinker? A Trump?_ _No matter, for now. I’ll learn in due time._ He pulled out two Ward business cards and handed them to the would-be heroes.

“Right. You should head home, it’s late. I’ll handle this, and when you’re ready to be real heroes, call that number. They’ll get you equipment that’ll offer you a good amount of protection. I’ll vouch for you under whatever name you apply with, just tell them I sent you. You two seem like good kids.” He reached his hand out to the civilian, keeping his blind eyes focused on the girls. “Do either of you need any help getting down?”

“We’re fine,” she spat. The two began sliding down the bridge unceremoniously. Radar decided to do them a favor, in exchange for their work. He flew down to the crowd to distract them with answers to their questions. The girls grabbed a couple bags from a nearby bush, then dashed off into an alley.

Once they were out of sight, he called the spontaneous interview short and began flying the man to the hospital. They communicated, somewhat, but his thoughts were elsewhere. There was a time when he’d been respected. A time when his name was enough to make villains run. When his position as the leader of the Protectorate wasn’t being questioned. Challenged, nearly every day for the last two years. Ever since..

* * *

“It’s not looking great,” she said. Her legs were spread ever so slightly, enough that a weaker man would take a glance. Radar remained vigilant; there was no use in exploring that particular abyss again. The relief would be nice, but their history was complicated enough without adding a pity fuck to the timeline. “People are pretty freaked. There’s always been dangers, you know I know that better than anyone, but.. this is different, Carl.”

_ Of course it’s different. Perhaps the most crucial law of powers; a fundamental truth that kept many people going - broken without consideration.  _ If his power had bypassed the Manton Effect in such a devastating way, what was keeping the more volatile capes safe? The fact that it took so long to become an issue only made things worse. If it had been instantaneous, most anyone could write it off as impossible for them. Just an odd example of a Case 53. The slow development and revelation of it all had doomed them.

The consequences were disproportionately affecting the heroes. Villains were far more comfortable with the idea of risking their wellbeing. They were fine with putting their lives on the line for a bit of money, so how much more concerning was any of this? Tensions had already been high  _ without  _ the potential loss of some of the most powerful heroes. If only he’d kept it under wraps for longer.

“Has everyone been gathered?” She nodded after a moment’s delay.  _ She’s tired. We all are. _ “That’s good, at least. Whoever the whistleblower is has effectively decided to give themselves up.” He sighed.  _ At least I hope it’s someone on the team. As terrible as the betrayal would feel, a security breach would take a much heavier toll in the long run.  _ “Who are you thinking?”

“Honestly?”

“Of course.”

“Suds.”  _ Mm. _ “Her position as second in command seems to have put a strain on her relationship with you and I. If I’m honest, I don’t think she takes any of this seriously enough to not act on a petty grudge. She’s good at what she does, and I’m grateful for the many times she’s saved my ass, but she’s never been right for the job.”

“Mm.” He stared at her with what little sight he had left. Her beauty was hard to understate, even when suppressed by her costume. How such a pretty woman could hold such ferocity within her..  _ Focus. _ “Maybe. I’m not so sure you aren’t letting  _ your _ grudge get the best of you. I don’t think she holds any ill will for you.”

“I don’t  _ do _ grudges _ ,”  _ she scoffed, “I just don’t appreciate the way she acts. She was handed the polar opposite of my situation, and she doesn’t even appreciate it. I’m not sure she could hurt someone with her stupid little bubbles if she  _ tried.” _

“Would you rather she be going out of her way to cause harm?”

“Of course not.” Her face contorted, but he couldn’t make out how. “It’s just.. she thinks she’s so much  _ better _ than me. You too, now, I’m sure. We’re the  _ monsters _ of the heroes; too dangerous for anyone’s good.” A long moment passed, filled with some heavy breathing. “Sorry, I’m distracting you. You should probably start the questioning before people get antsy.”

“I need a moment, anyways. And you know I’m always happy to hear your thoughts. Now more than ever, you are the one I understand most of all.” They soaked in the presence of one another for a minute or so.  _ The maiden cursed with Death’s touch. The living corpse who wields his own killer. _ “I regret that I’m not able to be certain of how much longer I’ll be able to gaze upon you. Truly, I mean. Maybe even in the looser sense.” He sighed. “It seems irresponsible of me to be around you once I have to rely on my power at all times.”

“None of that,” she scolded. “I’d take a shortened lifespan to spend more time with you in a heartbeat. It’s not like there’s high hopes of me making it to to my forties, anyways, as the designated  _ ‘Leviathan Slayer.’ _ He’s already adapting to my power, you know.” She laughed under her breath. Radar furrowed his brow. “I haven’t told anyone else, yet. I’m so fucked.”

“Then adapt back. You’re clever, I know you can outsmart a beast. Work with others. Your limitations could be completely negated with the help of any number of capes.” She sighed and shook her head.

“Anything that could curve my projectiles enough to matter is going to slow them down too much. There’s no point in hitting the asshole if it doesn’t even break the skin.”

“Mm.”  _ Always the pessimist.  _ “You’re thinking too narrowly. You don’t need to curve the bullet to line up a shot. You can move the  _ target. _ I’m sure Alexandria would be more than willing to push him into the right position.”

“Look, I know she’s supposedly invulnerable, but I’m not particularly inclined to be the one who proves that wrong.”

“You’re not going to kill her. She fights Gods on the regular. At the end of the day, you’d still just be launching what amounts to an elephant at her.”

“An elephant moving faster than the  _ planet. _ Maybe she doesn’t die, but what are the chances she gets sent flying hundreds of thousands of miles into space? It’s not an option.”

“Mm. Fine.” He got up from his chair and stretched. “We’ll think of something. For now, I need to get to work.” She remained seated, focused. He walked over and turned her head, then kissed her. “Be safe. Talk to you soon enough.” A small grunt was her only response.

As he headed to his destination, his thoughts were on his condition.  _ ‘A shortened lifespan.’ _ The thought hadn’t crossed his mind in a few days, pushed aside by his attempts at damage control. How had underplaying his suffering impacted his own view of the situation? How much had he convinced himself of what he was telling the public?  _ The selfless knight whose own sword took stabs at him. _

Chances were high that he’d be completely blind within the year. Higher, that he’d be too weak to fight by the turn of the decade. The waves of radiation that granted him his enhanced vision were the very thing that would take his power away. Little by little, day by day, the residual energy had seeped into him. All the times he’d lingered, every unnecessary use.. Cancer had been an inevitability.

_ Damn he who dares grow complacent in his sins. May he learn to cherish the burn. _

* * *

Two years, almost, and Radar still found himself being denied the respect he had earned. A walking hazard, yet lacking the  _ presence _ to intimidate on sight. He would be lying if he said he wanted people to be  _ truly _ afraid of him, along the lines of an Endbringer, but the thought had crossed his mind many times before.

How could he have become so frail? Forced to master a convincing fake walk as he glided along the floor. Relying on the ignorance of his targets alone to give his glare the necessary punch. An ignorance that had nearly been erased from the world.

If only they understood the depths of his detection. He could do so much  _ more _ than catch a lie or avoid a stealthy foe. He could identify the intent behind every syllable; know the exact actions of anyone who dared step within two blocks of him. The public couldn’t know his strength, though, without opening himself up to counters from the craftier villains. It meant that subjects like the one in front of him had to have the truth ripped out of them with a slower, more aggravating approach. The pressure he radiated was not instinctively known. It had to be taught.

“Master,” he dictated. “The leader of a humble team with preposterous wishes.” The disgruntled cowboy grumbled. “You stand above the rest of the Marshals. Your mind alone has kept a group of mediocre capes afloat. Immensely inventive ways to use one’s power that would take months to figure out” - pause for effect - “come to you in only a minute. It’s impressive.”

“I’m not talking.”  _ False in a literal sense, otherwise true from his perspective. It’s noteworthy that he’s even registering the literal application of his words, there. An insight on how he thinks?  _ Despite how good he was at his job, those three words would obviously not be enough - no matter how much he speculated about them.

“Ah, that’s fine. I’m fine with doing the talking.” Radar pulled the chair back and sat across from his subject. “We’re equals. I see us as equals, at least. Leaders. We make our teams  _ function.  _ They wouldn’t work without us.” He took a deep breath and tapped his fingers on the table. “Nobody sees that, though, do they? They see us,  _ hardly _ offensive threats on the battlefield.. and they underestimate us. Isn’t that right?”

Nothing. No response, a near perfect poker face.  _ Ah, of course. Why did I think anything different? Of course the Thinker who can find the creative limits of powers would know how they function better than most. In this instance, I find myself in the role of the ignorant public. We truly are equals. _

“They fail to understand the cavernous capabilities we hold within ourselves. We may not bear super strength, nor can we shoot lasers, but we have something greater. Our minds. In your case, the ins and outs of how one’s powers operates are a breath away. There’s another similarity, then, in what we bring to the table. We can see the enemy coming from a mile away.

“And in that very way..” He leaned forward, positioning himself just under the overhead light to let shadows overtake his face. “You know as well as I do that you can’t win here.” A smirk on his end, yet still nothing from Master. “It’s on you whether it’s a matter of minutes.. or  _ days.. _ until you see anything but my face, this table, and these four walls.”

“Carl.” The shock came to his face before he had time to suppress it. One slip up, one stupid moment of letting himself be taken off guard, and all of the momentum had been lost.  _ Fine, then. If you want to play it that way. _ He straightened his posture, looming over the villain. 

“Even your teammates fail to respect you, you know. Perhaps the only ones who come close to fully understanding your potential, and yet all of them were willing to throw you under the bus. Breaker, Changer, Shaker.. Trump, your Tinker Queen. You would view it that way, wouldn’t you? Chess? You, the limited King, and  _ her, _ the most exciting puzzle of all. So many ways to move the piece.

“Funny, then, that you fell in love with your Bishop.” The smallest of twitches, unnoticeable by anyone but him.  _ Checkmate.  _ “The very woman who sold out the rest of your team. Who returned Quaver the moment she was left alone. She  _ despises _ you.” Radar let the smirk return to his face. “And you know why I’m telling you this? Normally there are laws against it. Protection of the damned from monsters worse than them.

“I’m telling you this, then, because she asked us to. Begged us. Some poor fuck spent the entire night dealing with the paperwork. She smiled, just a little, every time she signed her safety away. All this effort - putting herself at  _ risk  _ \- just to let you know how much she  _ hates your guts.” _ Master continued to remain silent, but his composure was beginning to falter.  _ He’s holding onto the deluded idea that I’m bullshitting him. Any other villain, any other day, and he’d be right. _

“I’ll give you some time to think about that, and we can come back to it in a bit, okay? I wouldn’t want my guest to feel too overwhelmed.” Radar flashed a smile, one without any pretense of being genuine.

“Let’s talk about Conciliator, then. There’s no way you and your team have made the money needed to buy one of his devices. Even if you stockpiled all of it from day one, you’d have nowhere near enough. Either one of you is living a  _ very _ well off civilian life, or you got yourself a discount. Care to make this easy for the both of us?” Nothing. “No? Okay. Then I guess I’ll just have to speculate. Perhaps you found someone of notable wealth to join your team. Maybe you yourself are unspeakably rich. A cute idea, but I think we both know that’s not the case.

“No, you definitely got your tech on a discount. Why, though?” He held his hand up to his chin and pretended to ponder for a moment. “There’s the obvious route, of course, where you provided an invaluable service for him. Whether that be using your power to permanently expand his possibilities..” Nothing. “Or maybe he wanted Quaver for himself..?” He let the idea hang there, looking for any sort of response.  _ Nothing. Always nothing.  _ He shifted in his seat.  _ Nothing can be just as much of a tell. _

“That’s too easy for someone like you, though, isn’t it? Besides, I doubt someone like him would be going to  _ you _ to kidnap a hero. Far too lackluster for that.. No, you and Conciliator have something else worked out. You know each other.” Master gave off another involuntary response, despite how hard he was trying to suppress it. It was clear he was coming to realize just how poor his prospects were looking. “You two go way back, before either of you became capes. Old friends? Roommates?  _ Lovers?” _

“Fuck you!” Master jumped forward, then immediately snapped back. Radar remained calm as the villain’s cuffs dragged him back to his chair, then tightened themselves. “You’re going to tear it out of me either way, right? This is  _ fun _ for you, isn’t it you depraved shit? Fuck you then, and fuck your insinuations! You know this kind of shit used to be illegal, right? Before fucks like you came along.”

_ So much to unpack. _ People like him couldn’t help but  _ drench  _ themselves and those around them with the meaning of their words. Radar had been the same way less than a year ago, regrettably.  _ Focus on the important, drop the rest.  _ A few dozen thoughts passed through his mind before he settled on what would work best.

“People like me are the reason it’s legal now. We don’t make mistakes.”  _ You’ve got flair, but there was never any hope that you could keep up. _ “You do, unfortunately. It was nice to pretend you were on my level for a moment.”

“Fuck off, asshole. Conciliator’s an old pal of mine. He owed me a few favors, I cashed them in. I was  _ going _ to make a big play, get your stupid fucking Ward in my hands. Trade him back, kill him, whatever the fuck. Didn’t matter. Anything to get me the recognition I deserve. Ditch the rest of the team, join the higher ranks. Get  _ one _ piece of shit to see what I could do, to see this team of worthless fucks making it big, and I’m set. Throw away the fucking ‘Bishop’, too. You’re real fucking dense for a smart guy. She’s trash, a fucking  _ toy.”  _ Heavy breaths, a bit of a snarl. “Is that good enough for you, or are you going to sit there and jack off to how fucking intelligent you think you are for a little longer?”

“That should be enough.” He stood up and bowed. “Thank you for your cooperation, King. I’ll be back if I find I’m missing anything vital.” He left the room and headed back to his office. Once settled, he let himself dig into the mess.

_ ‘An old pal.’ They were college aged, or thereabouts. Their friendship was more along the lines of a one-sided dependency. Conciliator’s come from a low position in the world, and happened to get very lucky with the power he was given. _

_ ‘A few favors.’ Further confirmation of the dependency. Something important enough to last decades, and worth multi-million dollar tech. Not material goods, or if so, something of immense value. Beyond monetary. _

_ ‘Your stupid fucking Ward’ is somewhat ironic, here, as he was very decidedly determined to be the biggest threat on the team. The Marshals had run-ins with every member of the Wards at least once before this plan was made, barring Shift. Was the decision made based on their current power level, or on Master’s sensing of their potential? Such a shame that he ended up a villain, his power could have been a great asset. _

_‘Trade him back, kill him, whatever the fuck. Didn’t matter.’_ _False. Definite bias towards using him as a bargaining chip. He would like to make me believe that there was any chance of a murder, but knew even as he was saying it that the idea was futile._

_ ‘Anything to get me the recognition I deserve.’ Again, not  _ anything, _ but quite a bit more than just this. Had his plan not worked, he surely would have escalated further and further until he was given what he wants. A very dangerous set of convictions. Nothing too surprising, though. _

_ ‘Ditch the rest of the team, join the higher ranks.’ An interesting distinction on what exactly qualifies as the ‘higher’ ranks. There is acknowledgement in the ‘team’ that the Tinker would be worthy of such a title, yet still he would abandon her. The implication, then, was that she would not have  _ earned _ it. Despite putting in perhaps even more work than he had, she was lesser than him in his eyes. Delusions of grandeur. Not uncommon among his kind. _

_‘Get_ one _piece of shit to see what I could do, to see this team of worthless fucks making it big, and I’m set.’_ _The ‘I’m set’ here can have quite a lot taken from it. Most interestingly is that it is completely and entirely genuine. There’s not even a hint of acknowledgement to the work he’d have to do from then on. He believes it would be so easy that it might not even be counted as effort being spent. Free money. Perhaps suggesting he was meant to eventually pay Conciliator back, in part?_

_ The rest is less noteworthy individually, but paints a picture when put together. The ‘one’ has heavy emphasis on capes who fit within the monster category. A ‘piece of shit’ in a very true sense. Slaughterhouse Nine members, and those just short of their vulgarity. The ‘worthless fucks’ include the Tinker for the very reason that she is not willing to go that far. _

_ ‘Throw away the fucking “Bishop,” too. You’re real fucking dense for a smart guy. She’s trash, a fucking  _ toy.’  _ An unfortunate bit of closure for this mystery.  _ Had he realized sooner the extent to which Master was hurting the woman, he wouldn’t have played along with her self-destructive play.  _ A victim in a very real sense. None of the others have the same level of detestation thrown at them, they’re all given some level of respect. She is seen as little more than- Enough. _

The rest of the outburst wasn’t worth looking into, and he already had enough to work with. He sighed, grabbed a few papers, and got up from his chair.  _ They don’t pay me enough for this. _ Groaning from the exertion, he left the room. His hand trailed along the wall as he floated down the hall. A short trip later, he found himself at Pythia’s door.  _ Hopefully she’s doing alright. _ He knocked twice and let himself in.

The room was unlit, save for a few purposefully placed candles. It didn’t matter much to him, but it was a very welcome sign that the girl was taking better care of herself. He entered quickly and closed the door behind him, so as not to overwhelm the girl. Her eyes cut through the flickering flames to gaze at him. She blinked a few times, then turned her attention to a chair that had already been positioned in front of her bed. Radar complied, going over and taking a seat.

“Hi, dear.” His words came out as barely above a whisper, and she mouthed along in a way he’d come to expect. “I come today for reasons you probably already know. I know we’re not meant to come to you for matters outside of work, but I can’t help myself. The girl, Striker, of the Marshals.. Does she turn out alright? I’m going to do my best to advocate for her either way, but I need to know. Does she recover?”

She waited a few moments. It was something he understood to be for the point of matching what she’d seen in her visions, rather than her giving any genuine consideration to the question. She’d taught him a great deal of what he now knew about patience. After the obligatory time passed, she slowly nodded.

“Bless. Thank you.” He got up to give her a couple pats, then headed for the door. His hand touched the knob, but he hesitated. “One more thing. The one I only know as Cheshire. Friend of the new Ward, Shift. Should I intervene any further?” He didn’t need to look back to see her response. “Thank you, again.” With that, he was ready to give his report.

* * *

“Sure, we  _ won,  _ but I feel like we lost in the way that matters.” Radar sighed. “I did, at least. I let them convince me they were harmless, I endangered  _ children. _ God, and the things he did to that woman..” Of all the topics he could have brought up right before sleep, he might have chosen the worst option. “Ugh, ignore me. I can survive on Pythia’s assurance.”

“You sure? It’s alright to vent, you know.” Ah, how her voice flowed like butter. Her assurances were equivalently unhealthy and just as tempting. “For what it’s worth, I think you did the best with what information you had. Besides, you got him in the end, and everyone’s fine. It’s the best possible outcome.”

“I could have known more. I could have looked deeper. Just- no. Moving on now.” Marie let out a soft sound. Even without his power, he could determine it as a sign of disapproval, but begrudging acceptance. “Mm, let’s talk about the Chimera situation, then.”

“Okay.”

“We’ve searched the woods several times over, but he’s never there. No one’s ever spotted him unless he was coming to fight someone with us. Ever. I’ll be honest, I’ve gone over his file so many times, let me know if I’m repeating anything. I don’t remember what I’ve said and who I’ve said it to.”

“Mm.” A simple acknowledgement, nothing more.  _ How did I end up lucky enough to be with you? _

“It just doesn’t make sense. Just when we think we’ve figured out how to track him, or what the limits of his powers are, or..  _ whatever, _ he always proves us wrong. It’s to the point where I think he must be equivalent to Eidolon in some way. Perhaps rather than all of the variety, his power gains are permanent? Slow to develop, but last forever.

“The flames have been there since the beginning, as with the flight. The forcefields came soon after. It seemed like a perfectly reasonable powerset at that point, but then he  _ transformed.  _ That was the point where it was clear we were dealing with some sort of Trump. Most recently added to the list was some Master power that left Trojan a terrified mess for hours.. I’m rambling, and you know all this already. I told you to tell me if I was repeating anything.”

“I just like hearing you talk.” She moved around in some way, but he couldn’t tell how. There was little point in keeping his power on when they were alone. It felt more natural, anyways.

“Right, well..”  _ Something she wouldn’t know, something she wouldn’t know.. _ “Ah, have I mentioned that the PRT is considering making a public statement? A plea, if I’m being blunt. They’re thinking that having someone as powerful as him on the team with us would be worth any problems it might cause.”

“You haven’t.”

“Alright, well.. That’s it, basically. I don’t think it’s worth it. We’ve come close to catching him before, I doubt he could evade us for much longer. Mm.” He sighed. “That’s about it, then, I guess. At least anything I can think to mention that won’t be something you’ve heard a dozen times.”

“Time to sleep, then?”

“No, not yet. I suppose I could ask how the Red Iron situation is going. I’ve heard it from Sudsmission, but as a wise woman once said,  _ ‘I just like hearing you talk.’” _

“Heh. Well then, I suppose I can oblige. Blare has been working on a way to safely disable Forge’s turrets, but it’s taking longer than we’d like. Power isn’t cooperating, for whatever reason. Once that’s done, we’re hoping to get Pythia’s take on the situation, then we’re going to attempt to storm the castle. We don’t have full confirmation of it, but Flicker’s power seemed to slow Stroke down last time, so he’ll be playing a big part.”

“Hopefully he’s recovered by then. Mentally, I mean.”

“He’s a trooper, I’m sure it’ll be fine. This might not be for weeks, anyways, depending on how long Blare’s block lasts. Worst case scenario, I can see about taking the tech out myself. It’ll require a lot more setup, but it should be doable. Anyways, if we can get Trojan on Stroke, it should be easy enough from there. Magister is a bit of a concern, but so long as Sudsy’s on her A game, he should be clogged up enough that we can deal with him.

“The only variable we haven’t been able to account for is their boss.”  _ He who shall not be named.  _ “That asshole’s managed to keep the details of his power under wraps for ages, and they’ve done just fine without his help. I’m not looking forward to seeing what the extra support can do for them.”

“Another perfect example of how we could have used Master’s help.”

“Carl,” she sighed, “please. Talk about it with me. I can help.”

“Mm.” He hesitated. The relief would be nice, but her problems were numerous enough without adding this to pile.  _ Why can’t I get that woman off my mind?  _ The thought terrified him in two major ways. Both because of what had happened to her, and less charitably because he wasn’t used to caring for a woman other than Marie in this way. Pythia was practically a daughter to him, and he wasn’t close enough with Sudsmission or Sprawler to know their tragedies. Anyone who wasn’t on the team hadn’t been an emotional focus to him in ages.

So to have this woman, a  _ villain, _ who evoked so much concern from him.. It was immensely horrifying. Was he headed down a path of sin? Dishonesty and affairs with a demon? Not a demon of her own volition, but one nonetheless. Absolutely not. No, he would not allow his Maid to fall to harm by his hand. To the best of his ability, he would stop anyone else from hurting her as well. He considered turning his powers on to take in the reaction in full, but decided against it in the end.

He proposed, and everything felt far more natural.


End file.
